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Has anyone from different sides of adoption learned from one another?

I am just curious if anyone has learned more about adoption from one another on Cafemom. I try to read all the different groups, forums etc. I am so thankful that I can view all sides of adoption. As an adoptive mom I think this is of great importance. Although everyone may not always agree it is important to know the feelings and emotions to adoption. I am so thankful to have a friend in MissingChloe and we share so much feelings which is a blessing. We are from different sides of adoption but respect each other and are always open and honest. Just wondering if others have any experiences.


Asked by Kellyjude1 at 12:26 PM on Dec. 31, 2010 in Adoption

Level 18 (5,475 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • I have learned that there are some great people and some really disgusting people and what part of the triad they come from doesn't impact that. I have learned from many other members of the triad because I think many have something to offer. I have also seen some pathetic rantings that lead me to wonder how they don't have ulcers from living decades in denial and/or bitterness. There are good people and they were good at heart before adoption entered their lives. There are ugly people who are also ugly after entering the triad.

    More than anything, I have learned that at the end of the day I am the luckiest mommy in the world to tuck my babies in knowing that God sent me the path for a reason.


    Answer by 2ndtimewish at 9:38 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I've learned so much from some of the other mom's on here:) It has been super helpful in encouraging me to reach out to my girls birth mom even when it was very difficult and seemed to be doing more harm than good.

    Answer by Luuckymommy at 1:07 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • ABSOLUTELY! I have learned much, from ALL Moms, especially from some of our tenacious Adoptive Moms. I never realized from their point of view, before cafemom, what it must be like to parent another womans child, and know that in their heart of hearts, and deep inside, they will never truly replace the childs natural mom. In realizing this, I have a much greater respect for SOME of these Moms, Hollyanne, Doodle, Frogdawg, Iamgr8teful,etc!. However, I have learned so much from my other fellow First/Natural Moms, but the persons I admire and learn from the most, are the persons who were relinquished. I NEVER imagined what damage 'I/WE" did to our child(ren), when we surrendered them to genetic strangers. Expecting them to 'bond and love" forcibly with no ill-ramifications at all, was/ is absurdity at its highest level, and impossible. I am thankful to have found cafemom, to help me better understand adoption, CJ

    Answer by ceejay1 at 2:33 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Yes. But it also clarified POV's that perhaps I would never had another place to get clarification from. It doesn't mean I have to agree but I have learned to listen better. And there are things that I have made connections with...the AHH moment. Like abortion and adoption not really being in the same category. Without this site I would still be stuck with people debating how more adoptions would be possible if abortion were not an option and how I am such a hypocrite for being an adoptive mother and still believing in a woman's right to choose abortion. And also to be able to better defend my choice of continuing to not change our address or phone number so we may have an open line as much as possible to my son's birth mother.  Very little people I come into contact with agree with contact between birth mothers and adoptive families :(


    Answer by frogdawg at 3:55 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Learning from each other and getting to know others points of view is what makes the world go round. In adoption and everything else, so yes!! There are some rockin' mommas on here, that have opened my eyes and made me wanna shut my ears, and thats the way it should be!

    Answer by lilsweetpea708 at 10:18 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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