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my own child is much more dicipline then my step children are and my child sees it how can I close the gap in dicipline with out driving them back or giving up on my own belifes

The older ones are 13 and 9. Do not live with us .

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Asked by puaolena81 at 10:31 PM on Jul. 6, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (3)
  • Explain to them the situation. Its like the phrase well they are doing it. Well if they want to jump off a bridge would you do it. As a step parent you are limited in what you do, I was told I couldn't discipline and to keep my nose out of there families business. As long as you keep him her grounded to listen to you you should be ok.

    Answer by donna1972 at 10:35 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • You might mention that every house has different rules. Invite them to discuss house rules at the grandparents, or friends and then draw the parallel about how they are different, just like they are different with mom and dad. This approach gets them involved and gives them a sense of participation. It’s a natural conclusion to say “These are my expectations” and your kids are old enough to understand that. Good luck!

    Answer by idahospaz at 1:28 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I dealt with the same issue for years. My step sons (who lived with us) were CONSTANTLY in trouble and my son very rarely was. My step sons said it was "unfair" so often that my sons started to believe it too. They just didn't see that they lacked all respect for our household values. Even when I wrote them down and only had their dad deal with it. They just didn't think it was fair that they got in trouble for physical abuse, distruction of property, etc (I know, I know I'm strict). In the end, I realized that they were simply the product of not just bad parenting but a bad environment and I made the choice to leave.

    Answer by Quayla at 1:51 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

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