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5 Bumps

How long do I wait to pick her up?

My husband and I are trying to teach our daughter (3 mos old) to soothe herself to sleep. It has been heartbreaking for me. I think I cry more then she does at naptime and bedtime! I thought she would cry for a few minutes then go to sleep but she will/has cried for over an hour, so how long do I ignore her crying before I go in and pick her up and comfort her? How long is this going to last before she learns that its not a punishment but simply time to sleep?


Asked by newchapternlife at 10:14 PM on Dec. 31, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • My kids were self soothing at 3 months, but I started when they were newborns at that very sleep stage and would go right to sleep once they were tired.
    I wouldn't recommend letting a 3 month old cry. Make sure she is extremely tired when you lay her down, swaddle her, put something in her room that makes noise (my oldest 4 had a "heartbeat" bear, my youngest has a "glowworm" that plays music). You can let her "fuss" for a few minutes, but if she starts crying you should go in and comfort her; then try to leave again. It's a long process.

    Answer by missanc at 8:06 AM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • She's too young for CIO...pick her up when she cries.

    Answer by MrsMWF at 10:16 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • 3 months is way too young for cry it out. At that age, they still need to be rocked until they are practically asleep. If you're going to do cry it out, you need to wait until she is about 6 months old.

    Answer by makelineerror at 10:16 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Let me get this straight - you've been letting your 3 month old cry for an hour at a time for days?! Not cool. 3 months is way too young to CIO. A 3 month old needs mommy to soother her and teach her, not to lay her down and let her cry and feel abandoned. All you're teaching her is that mommy will just leave her be when she needs her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • 3 months old is too soon for her to soothe herself to sleep. You should wait until at least she is 6months old. Right now at this age is is too stressful for her to let her cry. She needs her meeds met almost immediately right now.

    Answer by team21 at 10:16 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Start out with only a few minutes and soothe her. Then add like 2 minutes on everytime after that. Never let her cry for too long. Just after a couple times try not to talk to her just rub her belly or something to let her know you are there but not over stimulate her.

    Answer by andria82 at 10:18 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • I think 3 months may be a little young for this. I talked to my Dr. about this with my first DD and he said babies younger than 6 months you shouldnt let cry more than 20 min before going in and soothing them. Its up to you though you are her mother.

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 10:18 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • She's 3 mos. old. Go pick her up, Cuddle her, swaddle her, don't let her CIO at 3 mos. it is way too young, the average age to start CIO is 6 mos. or older.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:18 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Yes, she is still too young. Try again at the six month point and even then for 15 minutes between cries. =[


    Answer by musicmom08 at 10:20 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • PICK HER UP WHEN SHE CRIES!!!!!!! She's way too young to soothe herself back to sleep!!! Are you a new parent?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 PM on Dec. 31, 2010