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3 Bumps

Spin off- Is it okay for a husband to tell his wife that she HAS to work?

This is a spin off of the question about the husband not letting his wife work. Let's say in this situation, the finances are okay, they could be better but that could be helped with a better budget, meal planning, etc. So, if the wife wants to stay at home, tend the child(ren), take care of running the house (cleaning, errands, etc), and do volunteer work, should the husband be allowed to say "NO, you must work".

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Jan. 1, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (19)
  • I would say not but i would look at the situation from both points of view.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • NOPE!
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • well it should not be a big deal if they are struggling then yes she should work but if not then it should only be suggested

    cielo1

    Answer by cielo1 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I was never given a choice to stay home when my kids were little... No. Because we needed both incomes to survive... plain and simple. If I would have said, No.. I want to stay at home, he probably would have left... But in the same aspect, what if the husband would have said, No.. I am not working... We would have been screwed.

    When it comes to finances and needing the money, I feel everyone should be equal in regards to pulling their own weight. If you don't have money, how can you have a home, food, etc..

    Of course though, we NEVER had any type of assistance, not even food stamps. We both worked our butts off to live on our own with NO assistance.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:43 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I think laying down the law is the wrong approach in either direction. You need to come to agreement on the best plan as a family. I will say that men don't usually QUITE understand what it is to be a mom and wife and that all things being equal, it isn't equal with being dad and husband, so it is often more fair for your husband to focus more on work and you more on family.
    b_Jessica

    Answer by b_Jessica at 12:46 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Well considering I don't think either person has the right to say NO or YES you HAVE to do something in a relationship then I don't think it is right for the husband to simply say NO. Our house and relationship things are decided together and one person does NOT have the right to order anyone around. In our house it was actually decided that I would go to work full time and HE would stay home when I got pregnant with our second child and lost my work at home job. That was a decision we mutually came to though and not something either one ordered the other to do.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 12:51 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I'd tell him fine, he can stay at home with them while I work and see how "easy" it is to stay at home managing a household all day. Then again, my husband is bullheaded so I would probably still be responsible for the house, budged, meals, etc when I get home from work. I went back to work because I wanted to and was sick of staying at home, not because my husband forced me to.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 12:55 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I don't think it is right for either partner to dictate in that manner. I always knew I would work when I had my children, staying home never crossed my mind. We need the 2 incomes to survive and I like my job.
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 1:08 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I don't think either spouse should be doling out orders or restrictions regarding the household! That said, I should THINK that the stay at home parent would WANT to work--at least a work from home job--in order to provide the household with MORE money, and to lessen the stress on the working parent.

    You know the whole business acronym...T.E.A.M....Together Everyone Achieves More?! :o)

    I gave up my 6-figure career in order to be a SAHM for 8 years, and once my younger son was in full-day Kindergarten I went back to school as a teacher (earning my teaching certificate while at home--already had a Master's degree), but even as a SAHM, I managed my own lucrative home-based business!

    If you have time to volunteer, then you have time to work a few hours a week! JMHO! :o)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:09 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • No man should by all means tell a woman that she should work! Because the roll of a parent is she mom, she the cook,,she the cleaning lady,she the transportation,she the preacher,she the teacher,she the one who lays down the law on the kids,she the doctor,she the household manager.so she should be getting paid top dollar for what she has to do at home because this is a fulltime job
    tinamarie1972

    Answer by tinamarie1972 at 1:26 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

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