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How to be social???

I dont have friends and I want to make friends. I am very self concious and a bit shy. Basecly can anyone tell me what are some things I can say or how to act in social events? How does one go to a party with a bunch of people u dont know. How can I start a conversation, what do I say??? some help would be helpful.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Nov. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • HMMMMM MAYBE JUST ASK A QUESTION ABOUT WHATEVER EVENT YOU ARE AT, FOR INSTANCE IF YOU ARE AT A PARTY ASK THEM HOW THEY KNOW THE HOST, OR JUST INTRODUCE YOURSELF YOU KNOW THE OLD "HI MY NAME IS"
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 11:05 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • i would ask them how they know the people's who party it is and ask their name. tell them yours and then talk about the people if you know them. make sure that you know them well. also go to who you feel you can approach. people give off vibes. i rarely find anyone to talk to but in some parties it's everyone depending on which friend it is. i'm not shy but i once was. i was extremely shy i didn't like standing cause i thought i looked stupid. i can to america and i looked different and i was very young. thing is i'm the least shy person ever. i can talk with anyone so if we ever meet you can talk with me. i would avoid politics, religion and gay talk. talk about pets if they indicate one or their children. people can never talk enough about either one.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:23 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Oh I'm the same way. I have social anxiety and feel very akward in social settings. I feel like people think I'm weird when I talk or something. Sometimes I don't know what to say so I just get quiet and then I KNOW people think I'm weird which makes it even worse. I've kinda learned to just tell myself "whatever!" and try not to think about it. I've been at my job for 3 years and I'm just now opening up to the people I work with. I have one friend that I ever do anything with, and then theres my husband who is Mr. Social himself. My best advice is just try to find something that you have in common with whoever you're around and start a conversation about that. I know it's hard, I'm there too, but I never got anywhere without sucking it up and embarrassing myself here and there before it actually started to become easier. Good luck :-) Feel free to message me, I could use a friend too!
    jessicarae787

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 11:26 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • It sounds very brave of you to want to put yourself out there when you are not doing this! It's easier than you think. Just be yourself and don't try too hard. Just be friendly, smile and make small talk. A lot of people are just as shy as you are! Sometimes it's just fun to go to a gathering and just observe! You'll get the hang of it and become more and more comfortable the more you go out. You'll see.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:39 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • One helpful thing I read once was "interested is interesting" which means to ask people questions about themselves and be interested in their answers. People love to talk about themselves so just let them. Just try not to come across like a news reporter!
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 11:53 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • SMILE!! It makes people wonder why you're so damn happy! Conversation will flow. If you drink, have one or two. It really loosens you up!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends And Influence People" remains a classic...check it out.

    The main lesson: Best way to be social is to LISTEN. Carnegie was considered a great conversationalist...but he hardly ever said anything! He'd ask a question of someone based on observation of them, and then let them go from there.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:49 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Thanks ladies for your wonderful responses. Next time I get invited to something ill remember the advice given to me. Once again thanx
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

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