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is it worth staying?

is it a good idea to continue to live with your SO after breaking up with them? i would be looong gone but we have an 8 month old baby and i just cant make any decisions yet. i dont wanna do anything that would have any negative affect on the baby. ex and I were together 2 years ( and friends since 9th grade) and the relationship has been very disfunctional from the start. i have no intrest getting back with him. oh and the reason this is hard.....if i leave i take his daughter out of state away from him :( ugh...i have a feeling ill be stuck here so i dont rip them apart and feel like the monster

 
cnv13085

Asked by cnv13085 at 3:50 PM on Jan. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,017 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Living together after breaking up is a very very bad idea. It happen to me when I was 18 I broke up with my boyfriend I was living with. It was really my apartment and everything belong to me but he's name on the lease. He would freak if I would ever go out and got very jealous if men would call me. So eventually he left becuase I purposely did something to piss him off enough to leave.
    Why dont get a place near by?
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:52 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • It is worth staying in town but not in the relationship.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:53 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I have been in the same situation and I am finally to the point where I have had enough. And my son is 18mos, just try to make a life and find income for you in state because there is no way he is going to let you take his baby out of state. I know if I even thought about it I'd have court docs thats day, of him filing for custody to prevent me from going anywhere. I say make a life for you while you are bearing the burden of roughing it with a man you don't want to be with, don't get pregnant again until you've found a quality man and you will do fine.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Me personally.

    I would never live with someone after a break up. When the break up happens, that's it. Time to move on.. Someone would be moving out within 24 hours (48 if need be.. but no more than that). If my husband wanted to leave, or I did, whoever is wanting to leave better have their ducks in a row in order to do so. Don't tell me you want a divorce (in our case) after 25 years of marriage, yet you still want to live with me for some undetermined amount of time while you get yourself together. Sorry, you want out be ready to get out at the same time (the same would go for me as well)
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:57 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • yea, ive been thinking of moving out but staying in the area..which kinda sucks cuz ALL my family and friends live in south florida. oh well, i need to do whats best for her and i know keeping her close to her dad is good for her. ...and heck no i will not be getting pregnant anytime soon. i cut off all sexual activities! :) have no intrest anyways. thanks guys! now just need to get a job and save up some money
    cnv13085

    Comment by cnv13085 (original poster) at 3:57 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Ok so if there's no way of making it work, and there's no way of being able to stay close by that is definitely a hard one! I would sit down and talk to him about how he feels about you leaving. Your not going to be able to live in the same house with him forever so nows the time to figure out how to handle how and when he can see the baby. I would sit down and get a plan going so when you do move out both of you will be as satisfied as possible. Questions that would need to be answered would be is he going to help you financially, how often would you be able to meet him so he could see her...those type of things. Right now the baby is young enough that he/she could stay overnight for a few nights during the week or weekends so maybe letting him have the baby for say 5 days every other week won't be to bad (that is if he can find someone to watch the baby while he's at work). Good-luck!!!
    ramita

    Answer by ramita at 3:58 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • pixie trix....not that easy for me. ive been a stay at home mom and all the money i came here with is now gone due to not working and still not being able to find a job. im stuck!
    cnv13085

    Comment by cnv13085 (original poster) at 3:59 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I think its very important for her to have her dad in her life, it sounds like he is a good dad or you wouldnt be so worried about it, and kids need that. I dont think its a great idea to stay in the house, unless you do think you want to work it out with him, but I think that you should do what you can to stay nearby, or see if he would be willing (and able) to move to be nearby them where you want to be. What are his feelings on it?
    -LovingMamma-

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 6:58 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • umm... he will not leave georgia. and personally i dont wanna move back to florida because of the living conditions down there, just seems to be getting to bad...crime, drugs, etc.. he is a good dad. doesnt exactly HELP me with her but loves her and enjoys playing with her when he gets home. hes not ur usual dead beat dad so i dont wanna seperate them. whatever happens it will be a long time from now due to me not having any options as of right now. but i will stay in the area and try my best to keep them together.
    cnv13085

    Comment by cnv13085 (original poster) at 8:28 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

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