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2 Bumps

Is it fair of me to tell my SO this?

I am currently pregnant with No 2. My SO says he wants five kids all together. We will be barely able to take care of these two. All parenting, feeding, changing, potty training, putting to bed, laundry, bathing, and cleaning falls 100% on me, and I know its not going to change. Im having a hard time with my DD, and I know itll be tougher with two. I dont like being pregnant and dont like childbirth and dont thing the "joys" are all that worth it. So I told him that we can have as many kids as he wants as long as HE physically has them, and raises them 24/7 like I do.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Jan. 1, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (22)
  • omg good luck sounds like a difficult situation!!
    ChanQ

    Answer by ChanQ at 5:34 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Sounds fair enough:) Wanting to have 5 children and the REALITY of having 5 children are two different things.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 5:35 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I think you have a good point. How well did it go over?
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 5:36 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • – collapse
    I think you're being unfair
    BeautytheBeast

    Answer by BeautytheBeast at 5:37 PM on Jan. 1, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • I have 5 kids and would have had a dozen if I could have. They do cost alot of money though and emotionally if you cant handle them then you probably shouldnt have more. Having alot of kids isnt for everyone. My mom for instance had me and that was all she could do, and she was good with that. My husband didnt want anymore kids so I had my tubes tied and I sometimes resent him for not wanting anymore kids. You have to do what works for you though.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:38 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • If he expects you to do all the caring for 5 kids. I would have told him the same thing

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:40 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Yeah, my husband and I wanted more, but then I think about our income, and things like that, we really can't have anymore either. I'm currently pregnant w/ baby 2 and I'm just going to get sewed up when they take the baby out this time.
    b_stotka

    Answer by b_stotka at 5:43 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • My DH originally wanted 4, but after getting 2 he quickly realized how much work and expense they are and was happy with only the two. We didn't really discuss it much until the second was about 6 months old. If you know things are not going to change then I would wait until a little bit after the second is born and then sit down and have a heart to heart with him and be nice about it. The way you worded it here sounds a little accusatory to me and may not be taken well.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 5:44 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • You sure as heck can tell him that, but I doubt he'll take you seriously. Some men just do not understand what we go through when taking care of children 24/7 .. Especially childbirth, labor, delivery, and so on. It's not easy getting them to realize what you go through from beginning to end, day after day, unless he goes through it himself. However, you have to remember that it is YOUR body and he cannot dictate to you how many children you push through. Nobody can dictate that to you. Only you can decide what is right for your body. As far as taking care of the kids.. He better step up, because the more stress that's put on you the less beautiful his life becomes.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:49 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Sounds like you said the right things
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:07 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

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