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2 Bumps

Need to vent... adult content

One of my best girl friends has been really stressing me out and I think I have about had it with her! When ever she calls she needs something, be it for DH and I to watch her DD who is going to be three next month, she needs help/advice with her boyfriend, help/advice with her family, etc. She constantly bitches about my DH and our family choices, for ex: DH went to the Bears vs. Pats game last month while we had his daughter. We had her for 4 nights and he was gone for 1 of the 4 to go to the game. The game was a Christmas present from his brother and they are die hard Pats fans, DH and I discussed it and decided he would go and I would watch my stepdaughter while he was away. BF decided that was the WORST decision in the world because she is HIS child NOT mine and HE should be the one responsible for caring for her while she is at our house. She continued on to say that my stepdaughter was not my responsibility and he was being controlling and manipulative by making me watch his child while he went away and he should be more responsible and stay home and watch her himself. I explained that she is just as much my daughter as she is his and I wanted him to go to the game and I wanted to spend the time bonding with my stepdaughter. We ended up agreeing to disagree....Well last night (New Years Eve) she sent her daughter to the child's daycare teacher's house for the night so she could go out drinking *this was not the first time she has done this* HOW IS THAT OKAY WHEN MY STEPDAUGHTER STAYING IN MY CARE IS THE WORST THING EVER?!?!?!? Also, I am getting tired of her calling and apologizing for not being around more and asking if we can get together that night...the night rolls around and hmm guess what?! SHE IS FUCKING BUSY BECAUSE SHE MADE OTHER PLANS! So there I am, wasted my entire evening waiting on her just to find out she ditched. She constantly drags me down, we are not rich by any means and so she will say things like "you need to blah blah blah because you guys don't have the money to blah" or "sorry I didn't call you guys to come out to eat with us after all, I knew you guys don't have the money to go out so I didn't want to upset you" whenever she has any life problems, her baby's daddy is doing something horrible, her mom or dad is annoying the shit out of her, she needs help watching her daughter, etc she will call and talk my ear off BUT anytime I have had a problems she has wanted nothing to do with it, not even to listen!!!! This is only a fraction of the stress I have been putting up with for the last couple months! I am so fucking tempted to tell her I don't want to hear it the next time she calls!!!!!

Does anyone else have a friend like this!?!?!?! How do you deal with it?! I swear she adds more stress in my marriage than money and in-laws combine!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Jan. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Sounds like that friendship is a one way street.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 8:19 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • She sounds like a toxic friend. ANd yes, I've had one before. I finally had to just let the friendship go. It broke my heart, but I couldn't take it anymore. Do you think you may be at that point?
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 8:24 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I hear ya! I have started ignoring the phone (caller I D) get her message and wait to respond. We only have cell phones and we are very remote so cell service basically sucks! If it takes me a day to respond I say I just got your message and usually whatever she needed she needed the day before!
    Noosa

    Answer by Noosa at 8:25 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Cut all ties your life and your family are more important than putting up with that.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 8:36 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • im sorry your friend is treating you this way but no your not doing nothing wrong i hope everything works out for you
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 8:46 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I'm sorry to say but she is a "fair weather friend" and not a true friend. Seems like she only wants something to do with you when there is something in it for her (like you babysitting, listening to her vent, or her trashing your life choices). If she were a TRUE friend she would be there for YOU, and be supportive of your life choices, (not talk trash about it). Personally I think you are better off without her and if it were me I'd cut her loose as a friend. Start screening (and ignoring) her calls, and be 'too busy' to babysit or chat on the phone. If she does not get the hint then be blunt and say "you know I hate to be mean but this friendship just is not working out, I'm sorry but I have had it and I just can't be your friend anymore. So please stop calling me, do not come over, and do not contact me again. It is over".
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 8:53 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • She doesnt really sound like a friend, and I think that the whole situation with watching your step daughter was just fine by the way. I would personally cut her out of my life, you dont even have to tell her or anything, just when she calls let her know you are busy and cant talk right now, or just dont even answer her call. Dont call her, dont try to be friends. Especially if she is causing harm and stress in your marriage, you dont need that, your marriage should be #1 no matter what, and its not worth hurting it for someone who isnt really a good friend anyways. Move on, and find a friend that is truelly a friend.
    -LovingMamma-

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 8:54 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • i hear you girl! i had a friend like that.... actually just cut ties with her about 2 weeks ago because she was the EXACT same way! its hard, but necessary for your sanity! seriously, i feel SOOO much better since she had been out of my life! she was doing nothing but bringing me down and i WASN'T ok with that! good luck sweetie, but my advice is to tell this bitch to fuck off!!!!
    psylees_mommy

    Answer by psylees_mommy at 8:55 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. I would just call it quits with her.
    My_3_Babies

    Answer by My_3_Babies at 9:09 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

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