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My dd is 4 and will only let a woman help her in the tub.

Her father is saying that when he gets back in the country (he is away for the military), he is gonna go for EOW. I am wondering how he is gonna do this if he can't bathe her .

 
JLS2388

Asked by JLS2388 at 9:45 PM on Jan. 1, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (13)
  • Okay. Normally I wouldn't see any problem with a father helping his daughter bathe at that age, but if he hasn't been around much, and she knows not to let men see her naked, you're right she probably wouldn't be comfortable with that. If he will be living close by you might be able to get him to work out some other schedule for seeing her until she's a bit older something where she could be home in time for bed and maybe to see her one of the weekdays too.
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 12:41 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • What is EOW?
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:00 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • every other weekend
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 10:04 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Try to start teaching her how to bath herself. That way while she is there she will know how to clean herself up and still feel comfortable. You can try to teach her how to shower so that her father can at least sit in the bathroom with her while she bathes and the curtain will be closed. ultimately it is best to keep her comfortable. My 8 year old daughter was the same way when she was that age and she had visitations with her father and we had always discussed privacy and she did not want boys to see her naked so she learned to wash herself and used only tear free shampoo to keep from burning her eyes. Another thing you could try is to let her bath in her bathing suit when she is with her daddy.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 10:13 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I think she could do it herself, my 4 yr old does it pretty good w/ some help.
    L0vingMy3Girls

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 10:16 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Well she WON'T take a shower, she is afraid of it. She refuses to take a bath in bathing suit (that's for swimmin, she says lol) but even still, you don't get everything clean. She can wash a lot herself but she doesn't like being in the bathtub by herself and she can't wash her own hair, it is really long so it would be really hard for her by herself.
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 10:19 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • lovingmy3girls, from what I have learned, most 4 year olds can't do everything themselfs or can't be trusted to. With no help she would never really bathe, more just play.
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 10:21 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Ok so why don't you try to have a talk with her to figure out a way to do things. You don't have to go into detail yet but let her know that sometimes daddy will have to help her in the bathroom at least to help her wash her hair. Then you two can work on ways to make her feel comfortable with letting him do that. If she is just going on the weekends then you could wash her hair Friday before she leaves to be with him and as long as he keeps it brushed and pulled back at meal times to keep it from getting food in it then maybe for Saturday nights bath she could skip the hair washing just buy her a shower cap to wear in the tub so it doesn't get tangled from getting wet. Then when she gets home on Sunday give her hair a washing. At the moment that is about all I can come up with. As for being alone if she doesn't want dad to sit in there with her maybe he could sit right outside the door and talk to her.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 10:26 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • angelmine2011 the only problem with hair washing is that she has curly hair, it must be washed every night or it looks gross. My ex's "solution" was to chop all her hair off. I told him that if the chops my baby's hair off, I will chop his head off! She has beautiful hair.
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 10:31 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • Is there a reason that you don't want her father to help her bathe?
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 11:42 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

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