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mothers of children with autism, please read!

so here is the deal. my best friend has a little boy, he recently turned 2. he has never said anything yet, not even mama or dada. he screams and grunts all the time. now as far as physical development he is fine, started walking at year, all that good stuff. but he flips out alot and if he wants something he won't try to tell her or even point, he just takes her hand and drags her over to what he wants. my other friend told her that she thinks he could possibly be autistic and she flipped out and refused to believe it. she said "my child is not a damn retard!" but what we tried explaining to her is that autism and mental retardation are NOT the same thing!!!!! do you think these sound like symptoms? i think she should get him checked out so if he does have it she can start working with him better, ya know what i mean? i told her its nothing to be ashamed of and it isn't her fault!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Jan. 1, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (8)
  • Autism is under the MR list of conditions. He needs more signs than speech delay.

    Answer by Vero0724 at 10:35 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • sorry if i sound ignorant, but what is the MR list of conditions? i want to know all i can know about this. thanks.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:58 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • oh and also, two of his uncles are autistic. buttt someone told me that autism is not genetic is that the truth or no?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:59 PM on Jan. 1, 2011

  • I think that her lack of willingness to get him tested is a selfish move on her part. The longer she waits, the farther he will get behind his peers. I don't think she is doing to it to be selfish, but she doesn't want to get him tested because she doesn't want to accept it. I would care to bet that this has already crossed her mind, but she just isn't ready to have it confirmed yet because she probably blames herself, which is sad because it isn't her fault. I would just be there for her and let her handle it when she is ready.

    Answer by TitusMom7 at 1:41 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • It COULD just be a speech delay. My nephew doesn't really talk, but he has a chatterbox as an older sister and she does a lot of the talking for him. Is he autistic? Nope. Just slow to speak. If the only "symptom" is that he doesn't talk yet, I wouldn't automatically jump to an autism diagnosis. She should simply talk to her ped about the delay in speech and see if the doctor is concerned. It may just be a need for speech therapy.

    You, as her friend, can do nothing to convince her to do anything regarding her child and should probably let it go if you value her friendship. I say that because of the reaction that she has already had to the suggestion that her son could have autism. Let it drop and maybe find a way to suggest she mention the speech to her pediatrician.

    Answer by ruthie11617 at 2:27 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Yes - the lack of speech, not pointing, and tantrums are all signs of autism. she needs to get him evaluated even if speech is the only delay. My 10 year old was diagnosed with autism when he was 18 months and he's in the AG (academically gifted) program at his school. Autism and mental handicap do not go hand in hand.

    Answer by missanc at 7:43 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

    I have a 7 y.o. who has autism (aspergers syndrome) he is considered high functioning. He is one of the smartest kids in his class. I would try to tell her that the best thing she can do for her son and herself is to get an early Dx, That way they can start therapies that can help him. BTW I am proud to be the mom of an Aspie

    Answer by justgrape723 at 9:06 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I'm a speech pathologist and can tell you that he should at least have a speech therapy evaluation. It does sound like he has a speech delay and the earlier he gets therapy the better. Speech delays can cause a lot of behavior problems because of frustration. Taking her hand and leading her to what he wants is actually a form of communication and is a good sign. I think it's easy for people to jump to the autism conclusion because it is being so widely publicized. Kiddos can have speech/language delays and or disorders but not have autism. With therapy (the earlier the better!) most kids blossom and go on to do just fine in school. Please encourage her to get a speech therapy evaluation. Let her know that speech therapy helps kids with normal intelligence communicate better! Just like some kids with normal intelligence can't play sports well (that's me!) others have a hard time learning to talk.

    Answer by BeccaGee at 4:36 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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