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what a way to start the new year....not adult content

well once again i caught my husband looking at porn. i just dont get it. he knows how much it hurts me. he has even said "i know how much it hurts you and our marriage so i promise i wont do it even again because i know you will leave me." it seems like he has said this everytime i caught him. he says he is sorry. but im starting to wonder if he is sorry because he got caught. he told me today that he has been looking at it. and of course he throws in the whole, i need to be more affectionent towards him. give me a break i work graveyard shifts, take care of a house bills, and a 10 month old. he also tries to throw the i put him down and call him names. (which i dont) i think im at done with it. please someone help me wake up

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Asked by racersmama at 1:28 AM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • IMO, you guys needs counseling to save your marriage. You both need to get on the same page and work together to get rid of his issue....which seems impossible working the job you work :/ I'm not really sure what to say other than, if he's worth fighting for, fight for him, make him remember why he married you in the first place. It sounds to me like he has an addiction that he needs kick.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I have a girlfriend of over 20 years who left her husband for internet porn. He was spending money to look at porn on the internet and not helping out with the bills. They also had a young daughter in the home. When she called me asked me to come over to help her look up things on her computer while he was gone working, we found so much stuff. Needless to say, she was able to leave him with her daughter that night. She did not lose everything in the divorce due to her leaving the home and she retained custody of their daughter. Their daughter is now 17 and makes her own decisions if she wants to visit her father, usually not. Don't keep yourself in a situtation that will only keep going on the same track. Nothing will change unless you do.

    Answer by guyandtoni01 at 1:35 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I know it is hard. But you do still need to make time for your marriage. Plan a date with him and keep it. Go to counseling. Until you have exhausted all options, please do not divorce.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 1:43 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I understand you're upset, and your husband should respect your wishes, but you need to realize that this is so much better than catching him cheating, and if he needs an outlet, there's nothing "wrong" with ti. First you need to ask yourself WHY you don't like him looking at it. If it's religious reasons, that makes a difference. If it makes you feel insecure about yourself you need to work on that and know that porn is nothing but FANTASY and just because someone looks at porn doesn't mean they actually want to partake in what they are watching. Men, even married men who truly and unconditionally love their wives, view sex MUCH differently than women, on average. If it is really just something you cannot handle in your relationship then maybe it won't work, but I think you need to see where he's coming from first. Maybe he is not satisfied sexually and is using porn instead of another woman. Try to communicate before leaving

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • we try to have date night but with scheduals and baby that is hard. we have gone to counseling

    Comment by racersmama (original poster) at 1:45 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • maybe he is addicted to pron. something he needs help with? Be patient and understanding. I know it hurts you but if this is something he cant help imagine how much it hurts him to hurt the woman he loves

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 3:04 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think if that is the worst thing he is doing... then you have a good relationship! As long as he isnt cheating on you, why stress about it? Porn is the LEAST of ANYONE'S problem.

    Answer by sissy0604 at 1:34 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Sorry is just a word. It is supposed to imply that they won't let it happen again. I think he has an addiction, and needs proper professional counseling. I would be ready to leave if he won't seek help. I mean, is porn or his marriage more important...his choice.

    Answer by salexander at 12:48 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

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