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I'm having some family struggles due to my present choice of relationship. I would like some advice from people in similar situations and also support to keep my chin up. Thank you!

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:54 AM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • I fell in love with a black man, almost 40 years ago. I know exactly what you are saying. The difference is that now I am 56 years old, and he is 60, and I'm old enough and have come far enough that I really don't care what anybody has to say! He found me after searching for a few years, last February, I asked him if he had married, had children. He said "no, never married, never had children". Why, I asked. "I never found the right girl, actually, I never found another you", he answered. I told him that I had been married 3 times, been iin relationships, had 3 kids, but I had never found another him! Long story short-I went back to Wisconsin and met his family this summer. I loved them, they love me, and he and I will be together for the rest of our lives! I really regret the time we lost! Go for it, screw what the family says!

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 4:20 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I honestly hate hearing so much of this....but I have been with an obviously visible Native Ojibway man for 4 years...We are close...we do plenty together in the public...he has even taken my very white children out shopping on his own. Nobody has ever condemned us or commented or given us dirty looks. and I'm so thankful for this....Even my they raised me to be non-racist, so I expected good things from them anyway, but I did think I'd have a fighting match when I decided to raise my children surrounded with Native beliefs...teach them the Native spiritualism rather than thump the bible into them...(I still teach them about the bible, but in smaller doses)...but still my parents and the kids' teachers are very supportive of this....The most racist comment we've heard was someone calling my man "chief" which he hates to the core....and he's experienced plenty of racism growing up....but not now...I'm so sorry

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 5:29 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • that you are experiencing this ! I say keep you chin up, show the world you're both in love, that your children are thriving and ignore the rest...if you fight them, you will be proving yourselves all the time and you don't need just need to be you and the couple that you are together....eventually that will be a lesson to your family....set your boundaries though with your family. I would say "If you want me to visit it is best not to have these discussions. This is my choice and you're not going to change it. If he ends up not being the one it will NOT be because he's black." and drop it....move on to some other topic of conversation. If they try to engage you repeat exactly what you just said without raising your voice....repeat it word for word as many times as you need to....even if it's 20 times, and then calmly move into another conversation. Anger breeds point in you being miserable.

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 5:33 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

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