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Question for those who spank

We recently moved to NC from NH. Yesterday we were invited to a neighbor's for a New Years Day party. There were 8 adults and 6 kids ranging in age from our 6mo to the hosts' 5yo. The 5yo ds of our hosts was VERY ornery and territorial and being mean to the other kids. His mom had him in time out with the adults twice and finally threatened to spank. Our son is only 6mo, so spanking isn't something we do, but I don't have a big problem with it and may use it myself in a few years, who knows at this point. The way the kid was acting he probably deserved to be spanked.

Well to make a long story short, the 5yo didn't take the hint and behave so his mom followed through and spanked. What kind of shocked me is that when she did, she pulled down his pants and underwear and gave him 4 good swats right there in front of everybody! None of the other neighbors seemed at all phased, and when I asked if she had to do that very often she laughed it off and told me that southern parents didn't put up with northern ones and that was how kids got spanked down south. My question is, especially from those of you who live in the south, is whether or not you think this is true! I've got no experience with 5yo's and we just moved down here, so I don't want to be too judgemental, but it is a bit of a culture shock!

What do you think? Please feel free to answer anonymously if you like, and please bump!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:02 AM on Jan. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • I am from the west so I dont know about the whole north south thing, but I dont have to spank very often and usually a swat to the fully clothed butt does the trick, but I have on occasion pulled his pants down and given him one swat to the bare butt, but Never in public. I dont want to humiliate him like that in front of other people, he is 4 by the way. So I will swat him or send him to his room in front of people, but a bare butt swat gets taken care of in the bathroom or his bedroom.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 8:07 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • only spanked when they were being 100% disrespectful and downright awful towards us. Wanna act like a baby and treat us like dirt then you get the same disrespect back. Personally I don't spank otherwise, I don't feel it does any good.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • How humiliating! That child will remember that for the rest of his life.

    I don't believe that telling a child that hitting solves problems is appropriate, though I know that there are parents who feel that it is fine.

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:39 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I am a southern girl and I got the bare butt whoopings ALL the time! Nothing is wrong with me, I am a great person and a wonderful mother. I, however, do NOT feel the need to pull my child's pants down and "make it count".. A simple swat on the behind (maybe 2) is what I do if needed, although it is usually my last resort.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:46 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Some children do need a little pat here and there but nothing too extreme and definitely not in front of others with a bare buttom. I think that is very savage like.

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 8:55 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • That is the way it was done many years ago, when I was growing up, but I think it would be very unusual to see that done today. I didn't really spank my kids, but once in awhile, to get their attention, a swat on the bottom, clothed, worked.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 9:00 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Our good friends live in SC and when they were up here visiting last summer, they gave their son a good spanking right in front of us...we live up north...and we were sort of in shock...I felt bad. He didn't get his pants pulled down though, but it was still hard. We do give our kids a little swat as a last resort, but never anything like that.

    Answer by MommyH2 at 9:02 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Bump!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:52 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think the "spanking on the bare bottom" added insult to injury, if you get my drift. I know if I was a kid, and I acted up after being told not to, and I got spanked while everyone in view got to see my butt...yeah, I'd be embarrassed, even at the age of 5.

    As far as the north/south thing, I think that's just another stereotype. You probably see it a lot less up north, but I'm sure it happens up there as well.

    Answer by makelineerror at 11:54 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • the point of the pulling things down in front of everyone was to embarrass him. he'll remember that! the point is to make them remember. i haven't had to yet, but i just threaten it and it works sometimes.

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 12:59 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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