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Just Curious

When someone dies and people tell you, "I'm sorry for your loss", or "you're in my thoughts/prayers", do you really think they mean it or do you think people just say it because it's the PC thing to do?

Answer Question

Asked by elena_rae at 8:07 AM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (264 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I think that sometimes people do not always know what to say but they want to let you know they care and when somebody passes it's always hard to know what the right thing to say is.

    Answer by JAIMEELLEN77 at 8:18 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I don't know about others, but when I say it, I do mean it. I AM sorry that the person I'm speaking to has suffered a loss, and that it's obviously painful for them. And I do pray for them, that their pain is made bearable, and that they are able to find peace with it.

    Admittedly, I do pray for / think about someone who is closer to me who has suffered a loss more than someone that I don't know as well (one, say, I might pray for every day for months, the other, maybe a week) - or if the loss was exceptionally tragic - I'm going to feel more for the family that lost a child to SIDS than, say, one who had great grandma pass away in her sleep...

    But yes, when I say it - I do mean it.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:32 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think you are over-analyzing it. I don't think they are in anguish because of the news of your loss, but I think they at least momentarily access memories of loss in response to your news and feel a flash of sorrow. How much they feel sad for you probably depends on how many times they think of you afterward.

    Answer by SWasson at 8:33 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I should clarify - in all the situations I described - I do feel for the person, and I am sorry that they experienced the loss, and I do pray for them - but some touch my heart / have more of an impact on me as a friend / acquaintance of the person mourning than others - though I do have empathy for them all (just to varying degrees).

    Anyway, I hope this makes sense...

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:34 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I can't speak for others, but I say those things and I truly mean it. I include a prayer for them at night and hope that everyone will heal from their pain.

    Answer by MeggieSwan at 9:30 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think they mean as I do when I tell them I am sorry for your loss.

    Answer by officemgr59 at 1:30 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think that they mean it.

    Answer by kim0167 at 8:20 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I always mean it, so I like to think people mean it.

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:30 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I don't say anything I don't mean, and especially at a time like that.

    Answer by salexander at 12:45 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

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