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Do You let your kids spend the night at friends houses?

Other than family I mean. I read an article in the paper that said that 'sleepovers' are becoming unheard of in this age of uncertainty and parents fearing child molestation and abuse by their children's friends parents. Now my son is 6 and never spent the night anywhere because it has never come up but I think with the 'right' family that I had met a few times it would be okay... Maybe I don't worry enough? What are your thoughts on sleep overs?

 
But_Mommie

Asked by But_Mommie at 8:48 AM on Jan. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 44 (181,635 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • My kids sleepover at friends houses, but only when I know the parents well. We have most of them spend the night here as well. It's very common in our area.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:50 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • My 9 year old has sleepovers quite a bit, but only with families I've 'vetted'. You guys know what I mean... Having a sneaky look at their house... Finding excuses to talk to the parents and see what they're like...

    Oh I sound awful! And I also make sure she carries some sort of communication (normally just give her a pay as you go mobile) to phone me if she feels at all uncomfortable.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 8:52 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • My daughter has had a few sleepovers with friends I am fine so far with it. I have had very long talks with her about things and the no touch by anyone. I have drilled stuff into her head. She is 8
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 8:50 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I've allowed my kids to have sleepovers. However, it had to be people that we knew. I think to not allow them because you're wanting to prevent sexual abuse isn't very practical as a way of preventing it. I've been abused, and I can tell you that 1) it doesn't always happen at night - so, that errand you're running - just for an hour - and letting them hang out and play - they could be abused then... 2) not all abusers are strangers - in fact, most are NOT. So, no sleepovers except with family - well, you never know what that relative who seems so wonderful is doing... (my sexual abuser was my grandfather - he was the neighborhood nice old man.)

    There are MUCH better and more effective ways to protect your children from being abused than saying they aren't allowed to have sleepovers - once they're old enough, that is!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:54 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think it depends on how well you know the parents and the maturity of the child. My boys did that at about age 8, but I knew the parents for years. They didn't ask before then. I would always invite them to my house first, and see how that went. Girls seem to be more into sleepovers. My granddaughter started at 6, I think, but the parents knew each other well and they had talked to her about no one touching her, etc.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 8:55 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • My kids are still too young but I would be ok with them once they are older.
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 8:56 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Mine have always had sleep overs and slept over at friends houses. I usually decide if they can go based on age, maturity, and their ability to follow rules by other adults. I want to say at around 9-10 was the first time I allowed any of my kids to go to a sleep over. My daughter had her first sleep over at our house for her 9th bday.
    I think we should all worry because times have changed. I dont let them just spend the night at anyones house. I usually like to know the parents and have a good idea of who they are before my kids can spend the night. I dont think we should let them just spend the night at any friends house if we know nothing about the parent or child inviting them. Its really just using our best judgement and parenting. I think many people dont want to parent these days, so its easier to just keep them home.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:13 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • My son is 5 and he has had my best friends kids over to spend the night and has spent the night over there. Once he gets older I will probably let him do sleep overs at other friends houses as long as I know the parents.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 10:34 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • My oldest has many, many times. Her first was a couple weeks before she turned 5 with her BFF that lived next door (who is a year and 1 day older than her). I've known the family most of my life and grew up with the little girl's mother. We've since moved and she has spent 2 nights at a new friend's house (she lives down the street and, nope...never met her parents). The last time she stayed with her 8yo sister, too, for a sleepover (the girl also has a 7yo sister). I think it was the girls' older cousin's birthday (she lives with them and is 14 or 15) so they had a big slumber party and had a blast. My 9yo son never has stayed over anywhere because he's embarrassed to be a bedwetter and still wears pull-ups at night. And my 4yo never has because she doesn't have any close friends. I look forward to them spending the night away from us...much quieter in the house.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 4:12 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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