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2 Bumps

What do you do when...

your 16yo says with a snarl and attitude "I can do whatever I want" and closes the door in your face.

I asked my DS to keep it down this morning cuz we were still trying to sleep but he decides to get up early and take a shower (which is fine) and start singing all loud and stomping around in the bathroom, waking everyone up. That was the response I got when I asked to keep it down. He did tone the noises down, but the attitude really irks me no end.

My instinct was to smack him, which I didn't, but I felt it.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Probably have a chat with him after I've cooled off and he comes down for breakfast or soemthing and just talk to him at an adult level. If he wants to continue to be a turd, then he can be treated like one. My dad used to tell me "Garbage in, garbage out" meaning you get treated they way you treat others.

    Answer by Mandz1 at 5:54 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Here's something that I said to my dd once when she was in that "tween age" and tried pulling that "you can't REALLY make me do things" attitude. (She had been at a slumber party the night before and was tired and had an attitude. I told her if she was going to act like she was 5, I was going to treat her like she was 5, and sent her to take a nap. She went up to her room but refused to rest, and made a point of us knowing it.)

    I sat her down and very quietly and calmly told her "You're right - I can't MAKE you sleep. And the older you get, there's going to be less and less things that I can MAKE you do. But you know what? If you DON'T do it, I CAN make your life so miserable, you'll wish you had!"


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:02 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • cont -

    So, when he says "I can do whatever I want" - yes, he can... and he can have the consequences of it... So, if he locked you out of the room, remove the lock for a day or so. Or, go in his room while he's trying to hang out and start stripping the bed, etc - being in the way because you, too, can do what you want without any consideration for others... Or, ground him - because, after all, YOU can also do whatever YOU want - and you don't HAVE to take him to the movies, or let him have the car, or give him money for that video game, or etc...

    After all, you're just doing what you want, right?....

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:05 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think my first instinct would also have been to slap him. However I wouldn't have done it, I'd then have punished him, purely for his attitude, not necessarily for what he did. For example grounding, or stopping him from doing whatever he's into.

    That attitude would not be tolerated in my house, I find it horrible. Even parents being like that, when my kids get anywhere near that I lay the law down!

    Good luck momma! My kids aren't that old yet so I dread it coming!

    Answer by leah_rai at 9:01 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • oh - I should add - I wouldn't do this to an extreme, but I would (and have) done this sort of thing before with my teens (my ds turns 18 this week and my dd is 16 1/2) - just enough to prove a point to them. It cleared the problem right up :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:07 AM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • way to go sailorwife

    Answer by san78 at 6:18 AM on Jan. 4, 2011