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3 Bumps

What do you think of parents who

judge you at the store when your child is having a melt down?

Let me tell you that if I could make it stop I would. It doesn't make me happy to have the screaming child in the store. Especially when he is 6 and it looks like he is just being a brat. When you stare, mumble under your breath or rant online about how other don't parent their kids it makes me angry. Why? Because I do the best I can with what I am handed in life and I happened to be hand a High functioning Autistic child. If you would like to step into my shoes for a day you are more than welcome to... I could use a break. :0) Next time a screaming child is bothering you keep in mind: that mom isn't happy about it either but lets face it we all need to shop sometimes even us mom's with less that 'perfect' kids! Have a nice day.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • If someone ever says something to me I will tell them to mind their own business. Sure a screaming kids at a store will annoy anyone but it happens. I can understand it and feel mad for the parent(s)
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:16 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I can relate my son has high functioning Autism and when he was little it was so hard some times. My own parents didnt understand and refused to watch him. They just thought he was a brat. Now he is 17 and you would never know there is anything wrong unless you paid attention to the little quirks he has (he still has meltdowns at 17 but they are fewer and far between).
    It used to make me feel so bad and like I did something wrong when people judged me. I was a single mom for awhile too with 4 kids and it was hard enough going to the store and then add any meltdowns and people would make comments and snide remarks. Now when I see people doing that to other young moms I walk up to the mom and tell her its ok, and that all kids have bad days. I have also been known to tell people making remarks they should be ashamed of themselves for making this poor mother feel badly.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:18 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Kids arent diagnosed with Autism until they are in school usually. Its almost impossible to get an accurate diagnosis for Autism before that. Only recently have professionals been able to screen for possible Autism at around 18-24 months but that takes going to a specialist. At 6 yrs old they really are just learning how to cope with a child with a disability since change tends to make the child have episodes. They start school around 5-6 yrs old, if mom works it can bring on episodes, anything can really. So no, by 6 a parent doesnt have it under control. My son is 17 and went through several years of behaviorial therapy and it wasnt "under control" until he was in 7th grade.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:24 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I could care less if a child is having a meltdown in public. They are children and they are bound to have one. What I have a problem with is parents who let their child run around a store like it is a playground. I have seen unsupervised children open up toys, play with them, and toss them on the floor, run around bump into people, knock down things from the aisle, etc. So, yes, I will judge a parent who lets their child do those things but I will not judge a mom whose child is having a meltdown.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 2:47 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I jump on Cafe Mom & hide under "anon", & judge other moms who simply expresses an opinion about what she thought was some lazy parenting. I was NOT bashing kids w/ special needs (since I have 1 of my own & work w/ spec needs kids) I was NOT bashing single moms- (I've been there done that too) I made an observation that some common curtousies have gone by the way side & some parents dont try hard enough or plan in advance. Give me a break!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:47 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think the problem is more with the parents who are ignoring the child - not as a way of diffusing the problem, but just because they don't appear to give a rip. Judging a mom who appears frazzled already doesn't make sense to me.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 2:16 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • before kids I gave looks, not to their face or anything but I always thought "man keep your kid quiet". Now that i'm a mom, I understand. Kids are just that....kids. They have less patience and are being dragged around the store beyond their will lol. I dont give looks anymore. I do try to shop when I know my son isnt tired or has a full belly (I always have snacks and small toys in my purse) but we all have our unpredictable days! When my son starts a meltdown I finish what i'm doing to get the hell out of there or if I havent started we just leave. I dont focus on what everyone thinks.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 2:21 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • aww, im sorry if that happened to you, i cant imagine what an "everyday" is like for you. i have never really judged someone when they have a crying or screaming child, being a mom, i know its bound to happen. however, one time while i was at work, i was completely minding my own business doing my job, and this lady came up to me yelling at me saying "i overheard you and your coworker talking about telling that mom to control her child, and i will have you know that is my sister, and her son is autistic and she CANT just control him whenever that happens, that is very rude of you people to say such things when you dont even know the circumstances, and just to let you know i already talked to your manager"....and i was soo confused, cuz i hadnt said anything!! and i told her it wasnt me..and she said she "heard" me, because she was in the next aisle..i mean, i apoligized to her on belhalf of whoever said it....but it wasnt me
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 2:23 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • When my son was 2 and 3 he would throw temper tantrums when he did not get his way. In order for him to learn I would not cave in to giving him everything he wanted. I wanted him to understand you do not get everything you want. So, he thought by having his tantrum I would give in. Well, I did not. I would carry him out of the store kicking, and screaming. I would get some stares, but honestly I don't care. To me, this is only natural wihen it comes to children. It is all a learning process. I think sometimes people tend to not understand because they don't have experience with children. The importance is you are doing the best that you can so how others may see it simply should not matter. Some people simply have no clue.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 2:48 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • ther is only so much you can do once he has 'lost it' I can sit in the floor hole him and talk him through it but he will still scream kick and sometimes even bit. Not every Autistic child is the same. Luck y you that you never had to deal with one like mine. Agai if you would like to you are welcome to it for a day. Perhaps you can 'fix' him for me.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:23 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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