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child support and visitation question?

I was wondering how likely is it my sons biological dad will get visitation (im pretty sure he'll ask for it because his mom's been wanting to take my son to Jamaica since he was born in '07) if I ask for child support. We seperated when my son was about 1 1/2 and he was soon after incarcerated. He barely worked while we were together I however had 3 diff FT jobs over the course of our relationship. Since our seperation he has done nothing for my son, I have asked him, but he tells me he doesn't have it. We have a long history of domestic violence where the police were involved even at my job, and situations including my son where the DFACS dept got involved. I was cleared but he failed all the drug tests and refused to complete his parenting courses. My family feels its not fair I work 50+ hours a week to solely support my son while he has never done anything but I don't want to put my sons sanity at stake. I have no ill feelings towards my ex, I've seeked counseling and moved on with my life but I don't want his bad parenting ways to negatively affect my sons recovery from his tough pass. Is there any possibility that if I were to file for CS that I could request he not get visitation with all these things beings factors.

Also my son has a wide male support system; my father, my bother in-law, and my fiancé have all stepped in and been very supportive of my son in his upbringing.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • If you take it to trial he probably wont get more then supervised visits. If everything you have gone through is documented and able to be proven you have a good case to show that he is not the best role model and maybe shouldnt be trusted with your son. As for grandma, well she has to go through you for visits for anything. I had sole custody of my oldest three kids for similar reasons you listed. My ex wasnt allowed to buy them so much as a bag of popcorn without asking me 30 days in advance. I still offered visits, Im not a mean person but he just never showed up for them anyway. His parents wanted to take them to Disney World one year and hadnt seen them in years. I said no. I offered visits to take place in town where we lived, and said if they showed & the kids bonded we could go from there. They never showed and didnt want it that way. It was their way or no way. You need to do whats right for your son & his safety.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:51 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • You will be SURPRISED what a judge will give.. A friend of mine has a deadbeat as a father of her daughter. He was NEVER around, doesnt come see the child and NEVER contributes. He has a record, mentally unstable, occassionally locked in mental hospitals and he got visitations 4 days out the week. She argued that she wants them supervised or at least at his mothers house. Judges says why? and No. So now she has to pray her daughter is alright whenever he has her.

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 3:23 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Well if DFACS was involved and he hasn't lived up to what they put forth the judge could grant him visitation, but only AFTER he performs whatever it is he needs to for DFACS.

    Answer by aeneva at 3:43 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Judges can be crazy but in gen. ESPECIALLY b/c DFAS was involved and he has not completed I would say no. Support and Visitation are also 2 diff. matters and usually dealt with on sep. days. He would have to file for it. I would sugget that you get ALL your documentation toghether and include any and all phone calls, incidents, visits etc.
    Go in there demanding that he complete all his DFAS requirements and pass a drug screening etc. and for supervised visitation only once he's completed all the requirements.
    Look in diff websites and locations and get an idea of reunification processes and how long it can take, how long supervised, that he has to show a pattern of stability etc. (you will not bring up what he needs to do to get to unsupervised let him deal with that ... but have a good idea of what the choices are and what you can live with if the topic comes up)
    Go in w/o emotions... FACTS that can be proven.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:26 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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