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WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT MY 15 YR OLD SON CONTROLING MY LIFE

MY HUSBAND FILED FOR A DIVORCE BUT MY SON IS DISRESPECTFUL RUDE AND CONTROLING EVERYTHING WHEN I COME AND PICK HIM UP HE IS FINE WITH ME BUT WHEN HIS DAD IS THERE ITS MR.HIDE MY HUSBAND WILL MEET ME FOR LUNCH BUT WONT LET HIM KNOWAND WE ARE STILL HAVEING SEX BUT IF I AM OVER THERE AND MY HUSBAND WANTS ME TO STAY HE HAS TO ASK OUR SON AND THEN IF HE ALLOWS ME TO STAY I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH, WHEN I CALL HE HANGS UP ON ME, AND HAS SAID HE COULD CARELESS WHAT HAPPENS TO ME OR IF HE EVER SEE ME AGAIN AND I FEEL IN MY HEART THAT MY HUSBAND AND I WOULD BE BACK TOGETHER AND HAPPY IF HE WASN'T AROUND AND THAT HE IS STOPPING US FROM GETTING TOGETHERE I HAVE SAID SOMETHING TO MY HUSBAND AND HE SAYS ITS NOT TRUE BUT WHEN WE TALK ABOUT BEING WITH EACH OTHER HE SAYS ITS NOT JUST HIM IT'S UP TO OUR SON AND I HAVE TO WORK ON HIM PLUS HE KNOWS EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN US I LOVE AND WANT MY HUSBAND

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ladiebo

Asked by ladiebo at 3:54 AM on Nov. 11, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • This is so abnormal and dysfunctional!!!!!!!! You need to talk to your husband, but what I really wonder is why are you such a doormat for men? Your husband lets your son rule your life and keeps you as a lover-yet you have allowed your son to tell you what to do. The problem is with how you let them treat you.....they are simply doing what you let them. HMMMM is it just me or is there more to this story?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:41 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I agree with Anon. This is your child, which means he should not call the shots.  Why should it be up to him whether his own parents should be together?  Also, could it be that your husband is playing this to his advantage in order to get some?  Stand up for yourself, Mama!

    mamapotter

    Answer by mamapotter at 7:21 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • i do not mean to be rude at all but if your husband knows all of this why does he agree it is up to your son what you guys do in your relationship maybe your son sees something you dont like he is using both of you your dh knows if it is up to your son you wont be getting back togeather so if he loves you that much why isnt he stepping up and getting everything back under control your son sounds angry and he is taking it out on you because you should love him unconditionally no matter what he does. i dont know that is just how it sounds to me you need to really sit down and talk to your son.

    sdeignan

    Answer by sdeignan at 7:25 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • In the process of a divorce and still having sex with him? You obviously don't respect yourself; why would you expect anyone else to???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • WOW!!
    I'd tell the ex to keep the brat and go and start your life OVER!!! They sound like they deserve each other!! FREEDOM!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I think you and you DH need to decide what is best for the 2 of you. If you really want to be together then you need to explain this to your son. A part of me thinks that you DH has the best of both worlds because he still gets to have sex with you and he can treat you like he doesn't care.

    You also need to talk to your son, he may be confused about what is going on and that is why he is acting this way. you also have no idea what your DH is saying to him when you are not around.

    I think you really need to sit and talk with everyone. You may also have to realize that it might be over with you DH.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 9:49 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Sounds like the three of you should sit down and talk. You need to put it to your son in front of your husband that you and your husband want to be together. My bet is that your husband is playing some kind of game with your son when you aren't around. Telling him something different that what he is telling you. This isn't a problem with your son it is a problem with your husband.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • cornflakegirl said it for me, ha. I really hope you take the sitting down and talking advice, cuz that mess was confusing to me, sounds like its a living hell for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • OMG you poor thing. I am so sorry all this sh--! is happening to you. I understand that feeling of having a demanding out of control son and a soft husband. My husband of 19 years disappears whenever anything happens in our family. I may offer to you to soul search why you are in the process of a divorce, surely it is not all because of this boy. Maybe it's time to sit quiet with yourself and examine your motives...what do you really want? Maybe your son wants to protect you and himself from falling back into a unhappy marriage?
    Good luck hun it sounds like you need a friend. I am available for friend invites always. Hang in there this too shall pass...it always does.
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 11:05 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • He seems hurt with you. Why does he resent you so much? What did you do to him? Well first thing, I would stop having sex with the dad. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Then I would have a serious talk with the dad about letting your child disrespect you. My husband and I are married and if he hears our children talk disrespectfully to me, then they are immediately going to have a bad day. It doesnt' sound like he respects you so why should he make his son? If you truly want to fix this family whether married or divorced, I would demand that you all get into some sort of counseling and iron all this out. This all wrong. Good luck to you.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:55 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

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