Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If adoption is such a great thing, why is it so painful for the family losing the baby? I am only the aunt, and i have cried too many tears over this. If the adoption was done without my brothers permission, can he claim his parental rights and say no?

Painful adoption of my brothers new baby. He doesn't really want this to happen. The baby has Native American heritage. Is it worth the fight? Or would he just lose anyway?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:05 AM on Nov. 11, 2008 in Adoption

Answers (21)
  • Actually, if he's willing to submit to a paternity test he most certainly can protest. If he wants this child he should fight for it!

    Answer by mamapotter at 4:16 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • He can totally protest and fight for custody of the baby. It's his child too. As mamapotter said, he'll need to take a paternity test.

    Answer by amethystrse at 5:10 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • well i saw on dr phill. a guy wanted his baby and the state said no bc he didnt sign a piece of paper the state wants him to.... not sure how many states its in.. but the lawyers didnt even know about it.. but he needs to fight for his baby if he wants it.. its his kid and he has the right to raise it!!! also it doesnt matter what heritage it is!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • If he is the biological father he defintely has rights to his baby. You have to act fast and get a lawyer as soon as possible.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 6:55 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • If he is enrolled in his tribe, the Indian Child Welfare Act will be helpful in his case. The adoption agency SHOULD ask if the child has tribal ties, and if so, they will need to request permission from the tribe to adopt the child out.

    Answer by jenn4262 at 7:16 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I agree, if he wants to keep the baby, he needs to stand up and say so. If he's not on the BC, then he will have to prove paternity, but why just give up. Adoption is tough on everyone involved, I don't think many people realize this. Not only is it difficult on the family of the adoptee, but it is also difficult on the a lot of cases, not always though. In my case, it's always been tough on me. At any rate, it is better to have fought and been turned down then to not fight at all.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 7:45 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I think it is painful because that child is a part of your family, regardless of how the birth came about. I also think that whatever is done should be in the best interest of the child. If someone in your family is willing to adopt the child, I would think that should be the first alternative to be pursued. If the dad wants the child, I also think he should have first choice if he is able to care for the baby. Unfortunately, I am not a part of the legal system, but I would urge you and your brother to at least look into all your options. A child's life is at stake.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:24 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • He can and should fight My niece was adopted out and her father had the option to contest it up until the adoption was finalized and they had to make every effort to try to locate him before they could do that it took over a year for the adoption to actually finalize

    Answer by sweetdragoness at 8:34 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Native american heritage or not if he is the father and doesnt want the baby to be adopted he needs to speak up, and take her to court there would be DNA testing and a lot of the times in these situations. The birth mother will just opt to hand the baby over to the birth father. (sometimes though the birth mom will keep the baby just so the biological father wont have full custody so its important that he stays on her good side)
    While you cant make the birth mother stand up and be a mom a deal like that would come hopefully with her renouncing and signing her parental rights away.

    Good luck Auntie

    Answer by sattoritx at 8:42 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • If he can prove the child is his then I dont see where a fight would be, he would get the child. He never signed over any rights so he would have rights to that child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.