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How do you get a 16 month old to be a little more independent?

My daughter constantly wants me to hold her and only me. Not daddy. When I don't pick her up right away she cries, screams, pulls at my pants and then throws herself on the floor and kicks and screams. Not only that, she wants me to sit and play with her all day long and if I don't, the same things happen.

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Asked by CafeTaryn at 3:58 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • Cry = attention = mummy will come and hold me all day and will play with me. Cure = don't do it. Let her cry. She will find out really soon that she can't get attention with crying anymore. It is better to show her that crying is not a way for attention otherwise you will have lot of problem in the next 18 years. Put toys around her, make her play, but do not pick her up, or put on your lap when she cries. Give her a toy and walk away. Only pick her up when she really has a problem. She will be fine soon. But if you pick her up all the time she will cry for you all the time and it will be just worse.

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 4:07 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Agree she is having temper tantrums. Better to nip them now. She does it because she can. It will get a bit worse before it gets better, but stick to only picking her up when you want or need to. And at 16 mo. you can do a 1 min time out. THis worked really well with my daughter.
    For example, she is having a temper tantrum. You say, this is a temper tantrum. No more temper tantrum and count backwards from 5. If she doesn't stop put her in time out for 1 min per age. After the min. go to her and tell her why she can't have a temper tantrum. A hug and say I love you. This does involve a learning curve to get the time out down and learn that you had better stop by 1. But be consistent and you will have a way to discipline your daughter for years to come. GL

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 4:27 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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