Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

She is trying to weasle her way in-How do I go about this?

Long story short my sister who is 18 stole my car and wrecked it. So----I'm in the process of separating from DH and bought a house. I will be fully moved in next week. Because of my sister my mother is looking for some where to live. My mother enables her with being out-of-control and it has put to much stress on the relationship with her SO. She keeps giving me the sad story of how she can't afford a new place and can't find anything. She's hinting about staying with me. There is no way I can trust my sister she will steal me blind. I have enough stress as it is, I will not put this on myself or my kids. How can I avoid any confrontation? I hate turning my mother down, I don't think she would do that to me. What do I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I think a little tough love might be in order for you....sorry you cant live here I need to make a life for me and my kids...period!
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 4:53 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • You need to just come out and say no its hard but do not invite stress in.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:57 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • You have to make yourself very clear, set firm boundaries and don't back down. You may not hear from your sister for not bowing to her needs but it sounds like that will be a good thing. About Mom I would take her to coffee somewhere quiet and state your case, tell her you need her to back you up or back off. This is your life, if you compromise on such an important matter when will it stop? Stand up for yourself and don't let guilt even be thought of. You have to look after yourself cause no one else will. good Luck
    sdj1953

    Answer by sdj1953 at 4:57 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Tell her she is welcomed but your sister isn't
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:58 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • i would tell them your just separated from your husband and are trying your best to take care of yourself and your children right now and are in no position to be helping other right now. it is a very understandable and reasonable answer that there isn't much room for argument with.
    sweetestkitten

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 5:11 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I'd tell her that you have a lot going on in your own life, you are starting a new life with your kids and they need to have a stable stress-free home and you don't need anyone bringing chaos and drama into your house and new life.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 5:31 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I would mom stay for a while if it was me. It would be harder though if i had to let her AND her BF move in. I think i would only do it if it's just my mom. Her BF can fend for himself.

    BUT, i would not allow your sister ANYWHERE near my house. In fact, I would make an ultimatum for your mom. I would tell my mom that if your sister comes anywhere near the house, then your mom has to leave. With that rule, if she was able to follow...i would allow it. mom OK, sister NOT OK!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:42 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I wouldn't allow either one to stay they are both capable adults aren';t they? I would let mom stay if need be but give her a time limit and tell her your sister cannot move in under any circumstances...But I'd go more for they are both adults and can find their own place you need your space just you and your kids you won't have that if your mom moves in and it won't be comfortable either..I would probably just tell your mom I'm sorry but right now I just need my own space just me and my kids I just seperated from the kids dad and I need my privacy..If she understands great if not oh well she'll either get over it or she won't...
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 7:07 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I would not allow any of the stress in my house and around me or my kids. Your mom and sister will get over it soon enough.
    kim0167

    Answer by kim0167 at 7:25 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • There's no point in letting them stay if you are going to be anxious or resentful. Also, if you let them stay that just helps your mom to enable your sister. Instead of your mom allowing your sister to behave this way and moving out, she should address the issues head on. By coming to stay with you she is attempting to avoid reality. Stand your ground. GL
    Awakened1

    Answer by Awakened1 at 7:34 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN