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How do I get my son to go to school?

My 9 yr old son began his school refusal last year after my 17 yr old step daughter was put into foster care, do to disaplinary problems. He gave me problems only once every other month. This year he dose it 2 times a week atleast. I will have to take him to school and hand him off to a teacher kicking and screaming. I am told a few minuets afterwards he is fine the rest of the day. All I get from him when we talk is " I don't know", " I hate school, it is bouring", " I know every thing". I am at my wits end, It is causing him to get lunch detentions and he will even refuse to do his class work sometimes. I have begun in-school visits with a cousalor from Cathlic charities, and I am wrighting down the days he acts up and what he dose. I am going to send copies to the counslor and his regular DR. to see what is going on. All Advice would be helpfull.
GOD Bless all.

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Asked by Penmom4 at 5:07 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Is there something major that can be a reward for acting like an age appropriate 9 year old? Something hopefully that can help him connect with some classmates and want to attend school more? Like after school boy scouts or a local karate class? Also has he had IQ testing? IS he bored? DOES he know everything?

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:10 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Why don't you go to the school and observe what is going on that makes him not want to go? A lot of kids that are being bullied, or don't have many friends, or are having trouble academically won't go to school. Instead of sending letters to the counselor and doctor, TALK WITH THEM. Bring the child with and everyone talk WITH him. He could be having issues because his stepsister was put in foster care and doesn't understand or is afraid that he will be next.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:10 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I have him in scouts he refuses to go to that sometimes. I have talked to teachers. He has no problemes with any of the kids.
    Thanks ladies.

    Comment by Penmom4 (original poster) at 5:13 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • if that was my kid also I'd make some temporary changes to the schedule to make mornings less horrifying. I'd bump bedtime earlier and get up earlier. I'd take him in early and use the computer with him, hit the library, just take a walk or jam out to some music in the car while munching on a granola bar and a bottle of juice. See if he could pick out a friend he wants to walk in with. Would he like to be the 1st kid in the classroom when the teacher unlocks the door? offering as many choices as possible.... and again, trying to find ways for him to connect w/ his classmates (scouts, a local skate park, karate class, etc) hopefully they haven't seen him kicking and screaming. If he has a bad reputation now, it may be a reason for him hating school

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:14 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Is there something or someone bothering him at school? Just be sure to talk to him and tell him it is okay to be open and honest. That he can confide in you. Keep open communication so that if something is bothering him he will feel comfortable coming to you. Some children keep things bottled up and will not tell if something is happening at school. I am not sure but if his step sister is in foster care that may have an effect on him. Fear of being taken away. It could just be that he does not like school and some kids will do this. I would point out the positives of going to school, and maybe set up something to do together if he does well in school or goes to school. For example if he goes to school for a week or two and does his work do something together that he would like. Maybe go to a movie. If he has something to look forward to in order to make it through school then this may help.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 7:01 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Does your son like his teacher? When my kids didn't like their teacher they would act like that way toward school. A teacher that makes school interesting is less likely to have students that act up about going to school. I found that there was a direct correlation between the student and the teacher when it came to doing the classwork and school participation when the teacher showed concern for a students desire to learn or participate in class.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 8:31 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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