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2 Bumps

Pregnant young teen - What should my friend do?

First off this isn't my 13 yr old it's my friend's - she's a young 13 yr old however, as in incredibly childish. Still wants to play dolls and loves playing with her toys. She's not the kind that goes out to parties or anything, in fact she hasn't been out to another's house. She literally just goes to school, comes home and her friend (a girl) from next door comes round most evenings.

She told her mom that she thought she was pregnant. So her mom laughed at her and said no basically, but she produced a positive test so they went out, bought another and she was in fact pregnant. They've been to the docs now but still the 13 yr old won't say what happened. What do you think my friend should do? She's not a child that normally clams up about anything and she's a really lovely girl normally.

my friend doesn't know what she's going to do about the pregnancy or how to find out who the father is. She's just doesn't understand since she literally only goes to school.

Ideas?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • was she raped or it might be someone she knows well, an older man maybe
    kathy067j

    Answer by kathy067j at 5:59 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Is she worried about her being sexually abused by a family member? Hope not but if she truly doesnt leave then house then what are the odds? Some parents are a little naive sometimes and think that they know every little thing that happens with their child. My poor parents didnt know that I snuck my bf up to my room as a teen between the hour I got home and the hour they got home. Just saying... Hope everything works out. best wishes for your friend
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:01 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Child abuse. Take her to a children counsellor and let a professional find out what is going on with the child. This story stinks. If the counsellor can't find out what had happened I am sure the CPS will do.
    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 6:02 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Were I to find myself in this kind of predicament, I really think I probably would go to the school and ask what had been seen there as far as who she might have had sexual contact with. If that's the only place she's been when her mother wasn't present, then that's where she had to have gotten pregnant. Chances are he's a minor too, and she won't be able to file charges. Since the child is obviously not capable of caring for a baby, I would place the child for adoption, maybe even try to preadopt it and get some help with the medical expenses. It's a really sad place for the mom and for the daughter, and if she really did get pregnant at school, I would make lots of noise about that.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:03 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Sounds like she was sexually abused or possibly raped. Does she maybe go to church or anything like that or has she in the past couple months? Your friend needs to think back to even the most mundane safe places she may have gone to over the past couple of months. If the doctor can pinpoint the conception time it would help even more. I would also take her into a counselor and see about finding out if she wont open up there. Sometimes girls wont tell their moms things they would tell other adults.

    Right now though since they dont know what they plan on doing it is important she doesnt hound her too much or cause her alot of stress. We all know it is bad for the baby, but this girl is young obviously both mentally and physically and she might not want to do anything to cause more stress. If she was raped a meltdown could also happen, depression etc.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:07 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think she needs to be taking to a counsellor if she wont tell her mom anything. If its true that she really doesnt go anywhere but school she could of been sexualy abused by teacher staff or another student or even a famil y member as for the pregnacny i really dont know. I had a friend that was raped at 12 and had to keep the baby cuz she didnt know untill it was to late to do anything about it. I dont beileve in abortion myself but by rape thats between them. Good luck with that.
    Cherriemama831

    Answer by Cherriemama831 at 6:07 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • So this 13 year old will not tell her mom what happened? Is there anyone else this 13 year old can feel comfortable with to talk to or confide in? If she is not telling then that is a major concern. I just wonder if someone she knows or the family knows for that matter is involved. This girl may be too scared to tell. She needs to know and feel comfortable enough with someone to let out her feelings, and know no matter what it is okay to tell what happened.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 6:09 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • wow thats so awful and my prayers go out to the mother and daughter! But i agree with a few of the other posts. If she wont talk to her mother maybe she would talk to a consellor. If she doesnt do that maybe her mother can just sit her down and explain to her how big of a deal this is and maybe she will break down and talk. Because she could have been raped since shes such a good girl. But you never know! But the only other thing she could do is love her and just be there for her!
    mommy2be0611

    Answer by mommy2be0611 at 6:11 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • They need to find out who the father is, if for nothing else than to make sure the 13 year old hasn't been abused. I would take the girl to a therapist, or even just to the OB, make sure she knows that what she tells her doctors is private and try to get her to open up. And either the girl is doing more than just going to school or she has been having sex at school (it's happened before). They really need to find out how she came to be pregnant. Also, talking to her teachers can help her mother gain some insight, teachers often notice who their students spend their time with and who is dating whom.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 6:31 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I would take her to a therapist. I think there is a bigger problem than a naive parent here. It just doesn't add up. I remember being 13. I am 22 now, so it wasn't that long ago and when my step father beat the hell out of me, I didn't speak a word of it until I was 17. I think we are all agree that there is definitely something wrong. I will definitely be keeping this family in my prayers.
    COWGIRLinPEARLs

    Answer by COWGIRLinPEARLs at 8:18 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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