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3 Bumps

DH DH

Aka di** head dh...Im so sick of him and his attitude. He yells and screams at me in front of dd over the stupidest shi**. I borrowed his lighter and he flipped. Telling me that Im an ahole and cant hold on to things..seriously? Then he flips out because when his 8 yo nephew asked if we were coming for dinner I said no. We were never invited! I even called his Mom and she said there were no dinner plans. Im def ready for a change but kinda stuck at the same time. I work for his family and without his income and my lack of a degree I cant support dd without him. He works off the books so child support wont give me a thing. What can I do in the mean time? Should I suck it up until I can affford a place of my own or just move in with a friend or family member. BTW these are minor issues on the long list I have of major ones. He just set me off. And Im sick of his family looking at dd like a brat for her attitude and temper when she clearly got it from him/their son/their brother/their nephew! I know Im venting but would like some advice from those in a crappy situation! thanks!

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Steph319

Asked by Steph319 at 7:40 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,543 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • No idea but good luck.
    KellyOh72

    Answer by KellyOh72 at 7:43 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • heres a bump
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 7:45 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • my suggestion is get a regular job outside of his family and put money away. if he is extremely abusive look into shelters. If he is not then work and put money aside till you can afford to move. Just realize as you have said you may not get child support but you can still take him to court.
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 7:48 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I know what you mean moving on myself I went back to school and started working and when I get my check On the 17 I am going to start paying for my own stuff and I am moving to Japan in 2012 when my business starts taking off. You should start slowly maybe go back to college it helps. Set some goals for saving money to move out. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:49 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Time to take steps to get you & your child out of that toxic environment. First, get the prick a lighter leash! Really? over a lighter- he has serious anger issues. Then see which friends or family would take you in while you work toward getting back on your feet. Take college classes, find another job, & yes, get a child support order. He may not work under the table his whole life. He may also collect a lawsuit settlement, an inheritance, etc., & your child support can attach those as well. Good luck!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:55 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • sorry you feel this way mama but yeah try to find a different job & get your own account & dont give your SO the pin # & save your $ until you can get your own place good luck mama
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 7:57 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • If it were me here is what I would do-- I would look for a different job, open my own bank account and save up every penny I could get my hands on. Then I would start thinking on places where I could go (especially at a second's notice) and ask friends/family members if it comes to it could I stay with them until I find a place, and after that I would contact a lawyer and find out what my legal rights are, and get the ball started for custody and child support. Then once my 'game plan' was in place I would pack up my stuff and the kids stuff and I would walk! (as for working under the table..... the IRS might like to know about that!)
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 8:01 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • i have no degree and i had 2 kids when i left my husband. i just moved back home with my mother and went ahead and got child support started. he did the same thing worked under the table but in time maybe even yrs his circumstances may change and he will not be able to continue to do that. he will have a whole big account of money owed to you. i would get any state assistance you could like food stamps and daycare assistance and get a job, or go to school. maybe you could simply just try counseling and see if that works. although somehow by what you have written it doesn't sound like he is very nice at all. i left after i decided i wasn't happy and that i wanted to be. good luck
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 8:13 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • GET YOUR OWN GOD BLESS THE CHILD THAT HAS ITS OWN
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 10:10 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Definitely put money aside. If you can make more money where you are, stay and save there. Unless you have friends or family who can help you. As for the IRS, if you filed joint returns, telling them he's paid under the table could cost you as well. I'd leave that alone. But like someone else said, get the order and someday he'll show up on the radar. You really need to leave as soon as you can, your daughter has already picked up her father's behaviors. It will only get worse!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:56 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

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