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Should i tell my husband i am still upset?

So last time my husband went TDY- temporary duty for military.. he did a bunch of crap behind my back acting like he is single.. he says he is going to stop having the single life mentality and not going to do any of the BS anymore.. Thing is its only been a month i haven't gotten over the things he did and he is leaving tdy again for 3 weeks. I don't trust him cuz he lied and hid things from me. (no it wasn't cheating that i know of) anyway should i tell him i am having a hard time forgiving his actions and don't trust him or just say nothing.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • It's only been a month. Give yourself time to finish being upset. I would be pissed for a while if my husband did that. Talk to him and tell him it still upsets you, so he'll know how much it hurt and affected you

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 8:16 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • If you aren't comfortable with something the only thing you can do is talk to him. Otherwise, while he is gone you will just build up assumptions in your head even if something isn't going on. You are going to over analyze every little thing and that's not fair if he is making a legitimate effort and you didn't tell him you were upset in the first place.

    Answer by meandrphoto at 8:16 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Yes, tell him. Talking to him will help. Also, SEEK COUSELING!

    Answer by mrskrisher at 8:17 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • My personal thoughts.

    If you are having issues/ill feelings in regards to this. Then yes, you should most definitely tell him. Our partners only really know what's truly wrong with us, what our true feelings are, what we are having issues with.....etc....... if we tell them. Our spouses are no more mind readers than we are. When we want our feelings heard, understood, respected and taken into consideration, we must make those feelings known. If our true feelings are not known, how can we expect them to be understood/respected/taken into consideration.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 8:27 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I agree with the PP, you need to tell him how you feel and keep all of your feelings out in the open. If you don't you are only going to build up more resentment and more suspicions. Sometimes the worst situations can bring couples closer together if they lean on one another in order to get through. GL

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 8:39 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Yes. Especially since he is leaving again for temporary duty. You need to be straight with him and say "[Insert name], I don't trust that you will stay true to your word while you're away. I need you to prove to me that you can be trusted. If you can't be trusted then let me know now and we'll end things right here. Otherwise, you need to be a man and take responsibility and own up to being a married man." Use your own words, but either way just be honest with him and let him know that he's on a thin line. That he needs to show you that he isn't unfaithful, a liar, etc.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:42 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I live in a military town. I swear they all act like single men when they are away from home. Yes tell him. It may not make him stop but I'd tell him how I felt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Yes, I'd definitely tell him.

    Answer by alf2651 at 10:06 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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