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2 Bumps

Does my husband love me?

Hi.I have been married for almost 8yrs now and we have two boys,3ys and 5yrs old.I have been a SAHM for 5yrs now.After my first pregnancy,my husband hardly wants to have sex with me,he also has been very cold to me and it got worse after we had our second child together. He was always working 7days aweek and 12 to 13 hrs or more a day,I understand he was very tired then but now he has an easier job with better hours and he still hardly ever wants to be with me,he also is still very cold to me,never likes PDA. Whenever he has time off,he is always taking off without us to"run" an errand,it may take 1hr to 4hrs,sometimes he never tells me where he is going,and once he is at the door-I ask him and he snaps at me like do you always need to know where I am going,he thinks I am a paranoid jealous person but I want is a husband who shows he cares afor me and loves me.Yes,I had gained alot of weight w/my second child and I am currently just now finally starting to the weight.Yes,we have money problems,there is always some thing that goes wrong whenever we actually have any extra cash like our car windshield just broke(has a huge crack in it) and now it is going to cost us $400 dollars to fix it.we never had any help from our family or friends to watch our boys so we can have a night together.i always feel like I am the one making compromises in our relationship but he is very good with our boys and loved them very much but he is awfull to me like thinks I ask for too much when all I ask for is the basic necessities like hair conditioner,etc. I even need a winter jacket but he feels that I can use his to walk and that I do not need one.Occasionally,he can be nice to me but it never lasts for long.he is always talking about how he dated this one or how is ex-girlfriend wants him back but I NEVER talk about my past relationships to him,because I know it is disrespectful.I have no place to go,my family is self-centered and so is his.I do want to make our marriage work for our children but i am coming to the point where I have had enough.Any suggestions? He does not drink,I do not drink but he does smoke pot every day but he does hide it from the kids like goes outside to do it.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Couldn 't tell you. I don't know your husbands heart.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 9:01 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • This is something only your husband can answer. Sit down and have a heart to heart with him. Think about it for yourself. Does he's actions say he loves you?
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 9:08 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Sounds like you two need to talk NOW about your relationship and if you can't work things out btwn you, you need to discuss getting counseling... Also, I would look into finding someone to watch your boys for date nights... It sounds like your husband is overworked and overwhelmed with responsibilities and he is letting it get to him and it is effecting your marriage BIG TIME! Not good... Please talk it out with him as soon as you can!
    momofonelilguy

    Answer by momofonelilguy at 9:23 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • You said you have no one to go to bu i think you're wrong, there is someone you can go to and his name is "JESUS". if you have a bible read Matthew chapter 11 verse 28 it says come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. you need no one to get to him all you need is your knees trust me it works. if you don't have a bible please feel free to e-mail your address @ Vmesidor@ymail.com and i will send you a bilble God bless and i look forward to hear from you.
    soraya14

    Answer by soraya14 at 9:34 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think you know the answer......actions speak loudly....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 9:40 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Whether he Loves you or not- Don't you think you & your kids deserve someone that shows you he loves you & treats you with respect? i do............... wishing you lots of luck!

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 11:41 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • He could be stressed and overwhelmed like someone else mentioned.Life certainly can be stressful when you have a family to raise and it's hard with one income.Something does always come up and it always will.I think you two should sit down and talk if you can't get alone then wait until the kids are in bed.Try to approach him calmly not being argumentive or accusatory.If nothing comes of that or he won't communicate then maybe you should try giving him a dose of reality for example..you and the kids don't be there when he returns home..stay away for a few hours.Nobody can tell you his true inner feeling towards you..I will say he very possibly does love you still but isn't doing a good job at all of showing it right now.Anyway..I am sorry you are going through this and hope it all works out...take care
    tnmomofive

    Answer by tnmomofive at 9:04 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • hugsGood Luck. I hope it all works out. I would plan a date night. I know you said you don't ever get a babysitter well put the boys and bed and make a romantic dinner, have a glass of wine, watch a new movie and see where that leads. You guys need aloe time with out your kids! EVERY relationship needs that.

    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 2:29 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

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