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when to tell a child about an upcoming deployment?

My hubby is going to be deploying this spring/summer sometime. We have a 3 almost 4 year old and a 15 month old. My husband asked me tonight when I thought we should start trying to explain to the older one that Daddy will be leaving.. I have no idea.. I know right now he doesn't have any sense of time, so I know it's way too early for that talk. But, what do you ladies think? When did you tell your kids?

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trisha6543

Asked by trisha6543 at 9:02 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I saw a couple to a few weeks before. They are to young to remember that for months. My daughter was 2 and son was 1 when there daddy left for deployment 6 months ago. I just told them a few days before since there are really to young to understand what a deployment is. I just said daddy has to go away for a while
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 9:04 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • say*
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 9:04 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I say a few weeks....and I would just say that daddy has to stay at work for a little while and wont be able to come home....but we can draw daddy pictures of all the fun stuff we are doing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • 2 weeks, you don't want them to worry.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 9:08 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I would say a week or two ahead of time since they are so young, once they start getting older and have more of a sense of time tell them sooner to prepare them. My husband just did a year in korea and we told our 7 year old a few months ahead of time...we like to put it in a timeline such as "After Christmas will be mommy's birthday and then a short while after that daddy will have to go away to work for a while" Our youngest was 3 at the time and still didnt quite understand that so we waited until it was much closer to start talking to her about it.
    foxracing43701

    Answer by foxracing43701 at 9:09 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • well my niece is 4 and my sister just tells her as soon as they know for sure. They talk to her together and she really doesn't think it is a big deal at the time. So they continue to talk openly about it on a day to day basis almost. They have a chart they mark off sometimes to help with the concept of time. She does get upset when the time comes and my sis just allows her to cry and kick and scream and then they start a tentative new calendar on when he may come home. i think maybe just be honest asap so she can feel what she is feeling while he is still there and have time to work through feelings so it wont be a shock when time comes! GL
    harris4

    Answer by harris4 at 9:10 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • He should stay home and take care of his family or stop having kids he won't take care of.
    MammaG

    Answer by MammaG at 9:46 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Go to hell mamaG
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:09 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • MamaG Why on earth would you say such a thing to a woman who has a man serving his Country? Do you think he wants to be away from his wife and children? Do you think the Freedom you and your family have in this Country is FREE? You should keep such an immature tthought to yourself, or move to one of the foreign Countries that he may be protecting you from. Just a plain mean and thoughtless comment!!
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 8:58 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

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