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How to cope as a full time parent? ( please read)

I'm a part time mom to my 18 month baby girl and 3.5 autistic son. My aunt right now has full custody of my son and is a foster mom to my youngest. I don't mean to sound like such a crappy mom. But even part time it's draining and hard sometimes. Its sux being in the house most of the time. Weather has been really cold and i don't wanna bring them out. My house ends up being a mess and I am tired some nites to clean it up totally. How do you ladies cope as a full time mom with everything, personal, kids, money, etc. I really want my daughter to be with me, just not sure how I am gonna manage as a full time stay at home mom.

Thanks,

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • The best thing anyone ever taught me when I had kids was your house doesn't need to be perfect. In fact not at all. Worry about the kids first and the mess much later. Providing it's safe and hygienic you're in the clear!
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 9:29 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Perhaps you are not ready.
    Perhapst the best thing for your children is to sign over your rights and help place them where they will be loved, taken care of, and enjoyed 24/7.
    Im not saying you dont love them.... but if your a part time mom and still dont like it.... show that love by giving them a full time mom for ever.
    My bff just adopted two children from a mom who 'wasnt ready' and they are blossoming and growing and it is THE most wonderful thing for all involved.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I don't know what to tell you. As trying as motherhood can be, I always want my daughter with me. Everyone is different...so maybe full-time motherhood is not for you.
    tommy_mommy

    Answer by tommy_mommy at 9:32 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Get involved in parental support and play groups. You will meet new people who are in the same position. You can help each other through it. You just endure and find creative ways to keep them occupied. It is not easy, but it will keep changing and you will adjust. Hugs !!
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 9:32 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I don't dread being with them. I love knowing they are here and safe. I love playing with them.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:45 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • It really depends on the parent's personality, and just because you might not enjoy being around your kids all the time doesn't mean you don't love them or that you are a bad person. Honestly, being a full-time parent is NOT for everyone. It is hard and draining at times (even for the moms who LOVE being a FT-SAHM). And I don't know what it's like to care for and autistic kid - that seems like it would be even harder. But the joy I get from being around my son makes it all worth it.

    What matters is that the kids are given enough love and attention so they can grow into good, happy people. If you need help providing this for the kids (either by using your aunt's help or by looking elsewhere for support), that's fine! A good parent is one who does what it takes to give their kids a good life.
    Sebbiemama

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 10:04 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • In general, thou I am tired. I think it might be from the pills I take for my anxiety. I take paxil. I am not sure if thats why I am tired and having the kids intensifies that. So I am thinking of lowering my dose and going on something different. I am not complaining about being a full time parent. Just wondering how i can do it? maybe i am just self doubitng myself. I have been told I am a good friend and their are so many times I feel good with my children. I know they are so worth it..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:26 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • good mom*
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:40 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I would bet it has a lot to do with the paxil. You might lower the dose or try something new. Also, getting exercise regularly (groan...I know) REALLY makes a difference. I find having a routine makes it bearable. Kids can be incredibly taxing so it would be important to have breaks, meet with friends, get some air.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:09 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Parenting is hard. There is no right way, and children don't come with manuals about what you should do. You are interacting with a small human who has their own mind, own likes and dislikes, and limited ability to communicate. It's exhausting, it's sometimes embarassing, but its also incredibly rewarding.

    However, one generally does not lose parental rights without something drastic happening. Therefore, I do not believe it's simply an issue of medication making you tired. It's probably a component of something far more complicated.

    I recommend you talk with your doctor about medication changes, but I also recommend you speak with your social worker about taking some parental skills classes, as well as conflict management classes. Learn some skills to cope when things get hectic, and learn to recognize when you're getting overloaded before you hit the critical point.

    Take care!
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 12:20 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

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