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7 Bumps

Has anyone else's husband said they...

only wanted one child and refuses to try to have another? I really want to have another baby and when my husband sees other babies he can't help but smile from ear to ear. Our son brings so much joy to our lives and I just want for my husband to want to try for another baby. I have talked to him numerous times and we are financially stable. Anyone else's husband say or do this? How did you handle it?

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leann74016

Asked by leann74016 at 9:37 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,449 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • My friend's hubby is this way. He refuses to have another child. My girlfriend even told him he wouldn't have to help with the baby, she just wants another so bad (she grew up an only child). But he's definite that he doesn't want anymore. It's a no win situation. She gets one, he resents. He doesn't, she resents.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 9:39 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • didnt you talk about this before you got married?
    If he is changing his mind on you then I think you have a right to discuss it with him.
    BUT if this is what he told you from the get go... then you knew that going in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • My husband wants another child, but I do not... But when I did have the 'baby itch' about a year ago, he was not ready (LOL)
    What I said to him was... to really think about if your life feels complete. I kept telling him that I just did not feel complete as a family and that an element was missing. I felt like something kept telling me that there was another child intended for us to have, and to please consider these feelings that I was having.
    (sad for me, by the time he had those SAME feelings, i did not) I think my reasons were because I just got a job, about to graduate from school, and my son is now 2 and i love playing with just him as much as possible. So with all the new things going on, I just wanted to enjoy them for a while. Maybe once I get used to the new job and such I will want another baby again...
    Anywho...
    GOOD LUCK!
    RachWell

    Answer by RachWell at 9:41 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Yes, we have only one child. But my D is almost a teen, in fact she will be in eight days. And it took a while to get her to start helping out around the house. I do see all that cute stuff in the store for babies and I think the car seats remind me most of how nice it was to have a baby, but whole lot goes into raising a child. And I am glad at times I do not have that child to care for because when my DD is asleep I have me time. A baby does not stick to a schedule.
    idaspida

    Answer by idaspida at 9:41 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Have you asked him why he doesn't want another??
    ChanQ

    Answer by ChanQ at 9:41 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Give it 6 months and then bring it up again. See if there is any change. Don't nag him, though, it wouldn't be fair to him.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:41 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • No. My fiance and I had this discussion early on about what we expected from our relationship and how many children we wanted. We are both on the same page with that and if I knew he only wanted one child while I wanted many...it would be a deal breaker because I know I would end up resenting him big time. Same with him. Communication is key BEFORE starting a family.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 9:43 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • My husband was that way.....we had 3.....one was unplanned, and our last was because I was going to leave him...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I want another but my husband definitely does not. He didn't really want a kid to begin with, but I won the first round (and of course now he loves our son a ton). Since he let me make the decision on our first kid, I think it's only fair to let him decide on if/when we have the second. It's sad sometimes - like when I see siblings at the park hugging and holding hands or when my friends get pregnant with their second. But I would much rather have a happy little family than to have 2 kids and an unhappy husband.
    Sebbiemama

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 9:47 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • No, (not yet anyway) but my brother in law refuses to have another, even though his wife wants one. She is 41 now and he won't budge. I feel so sad for her, because they are great parents, and he loves my baby son and fawns all over him. I don't think they ever discussed it either way... it just seems wrong to deny your wife a baby when everything is in place to take care of one properly. I know he would adore another; maybe he just doesn't want to go through it all again. He likes to travel and now that their first is old enough, maybe he just wants to go into the next phase of life. Maybe he feels too old at 40. I don't know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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