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Using the word "bad"

So i was told long before i had my son that you should not tell them that they are bad, i can kinda see where people are going with that, but what do i say that he is doing a bad thing? We told himt eh otehr day that one of his toys was bad cause our lil clumsy man fell into it, well he went over and hit it and told it it was bad, so now we see the error of our ways. We made him give the toy a huga nd kiss and all was ok afer a bit, but how to avoid this inthe future ...advice


Asked by Chele1313 at 9:43 AM on Nov. 11, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • I tell my daughter that "what" she did was "not nice". Its their actions that are bad, not them b/c they really dont know better. When I tell her that its not nice she responds really well and does something nice. Like if she throws a toy at me I tell her it wasnt nice and she hands it to me instead. Hope it helps! :)

    Answer by Steph319 at 9:47 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Hi, you should say "naughty" or something like it. I often use "that's not nice behavior" or just "you are being fresh". Bad denotes to a child that their whole little being is BAD. We always remind ourselves that there are no bad children just bad behavior.

    Hope it helps.

    Answer by denise22 at 9:49 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Thank you both for the advice. I didn't really like using the word it is just the first thing tha pops out. DH and i talked about it and we talked to his care providers, Mom Mom and Pop Pop and we are in agreeance that we will try something else. I will gve thesea s some options. Thanks a million

    Answer by Chele1313 at 9:50 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • When my kids do something that they weren't suppose to do. I tell them that they are being naughty or that was naughty behavior. If someone else does something that is wrong we still say soo and so was naughty.

    Answer by nyteowl at 9:53 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I try to avoid the word bad too. And stupid. Sometimes it slips out, and I try to lighten my tone immediately. That way its not associated with negativity. Even with my older kids (who I sometimes call stupid), I immediately tell t hem I didn't mean it because they are not stupid and I'm sorry. Then I continue reprimanding them for whatever. I still feel guilty as hell, but when it does slip and I take it back.

    Answer by drowninginboys at 10:13 AM on Nov. 11, 2008