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What if you found your soulmate but you are already with someone?

Ok so recently my ex is back in my life and he was "the one" but I had to be stupid and let him go. Many years have past and BAM he's back. He still has a soft spot for me and I for him and everything I felt for him then is now back. BUT I'm with my baby's daddy. My current and I are not "in love" but are together cause we get along and have a baby and I think he is just "comfortable" with me. I'm at a lost of what to do. Nothing has happened between me and the ex. Just feelings surfaced, which we did talk about before we got interupted by a friend. Should We talk about this more and get it all out in the open? I'm at a loss and need some good advice. Should I just go for my happiness and what would make me happy?

EDIT:  No my current and I are not married. He never plans on marrying me no matter how long we would be with each other.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Something else to consider - and again, I'm NOT saying that this is what you're doing, but just something for you to think about and decide if maybe there might be a part of this in your situation...

    But yrs ago my dh had an ex contact him. We were married, had 1 kid and another on the way. She was married (to the guy she cheated on my dh with), and had a kid. But she wasn't happy with her life - being the mom of a toddler and a wife was a lot harder than she thought. She wanted back with my dh - not because she loved him (though she thought she did), but because she loved what she used to have with him, and she wanted that again. She wanted that fun, carefree time again. But the thing is, even if they had gotten back together, it wouldn't have been like before. She was still a mom. He was still a dad. Times had moved on - but what she wanted was those past times - not really him, kwim?

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:55 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I think that you're playing with fire. Right now, of course everything feels wonderful and good - you aren't with him, so there's that romance, that feeling of he's the one that got away, and that whole grass is greener thing. You aren't washing his socks, seeing him with morning breath, etc. You're seeing the romanticized version of what you had. You say many years have passed - that means you guys are NOT the same people you were before. You might think you are, on the surface it might look like that, but think about it - were you a mom when you were with him before? What has happened in your life since you were last with him? What has happened to him since he was last with you? All of those things affect who you are, and change you to a certain extent.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:43 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Since you asked I think you should look for happiness within. Why should you short change yourself by being with someone you don't love? And if things don't work out with ex then what? You are in a tough situation because the heart wants what it wants when it wants it. I wish you and your child happiness and the best life has to offer. Best Wishes.


    Answer by mrsljamieson at 10:46 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I would let it go you've both changed whether you admit it or not and now you got your baby to think of.I would just let him go again.

    Answer by amanda81919 at 10:50 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • how do you know he is your soul mate??? every guy seems perfect at the beginning. if i were you i wouldn't mess with the relationship you have unless you are completely unhappy..

    Answer by JOHNNYSMOMMY23 at 11:12 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I would NEVER be out looking if I was already married.

    If you are married... then you have ALREADY made your choice. Do right by everyone and dont contact him again EVER.

    Answer by sahlady at 10:38 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • No I am not married btw and I would never even do anything like that if I were. to me marriage is sacred.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:42 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • cont

    I think you should maybe take a step back and look at your relationship with your baby's dad. Is this a "slump" you're in, and maybe you both need to put more effort into the relationship? (I'm not saying you do this, but a lot of people think that, if it's right, a relationship will take care of itself when it won't. Just like a child, a relationship needs to be taken care of, paid attention to, etc - they're work.)

    If it's really a case where the relationship is just convenient and you guys are done, then end it, but don't get involved with the other guy right away. Give yourself some time to think about who, exactly you are as a single mom (not involved), and what, exactly you want from a relationship. Then, once you decide that, you can take some time and get to know this other guy again, and slowly see if it's right. But you owe it to your current relationship to try to fix that, first.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:47 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • If you choose to have a baby with a man who refuses to ever marry you.......... do what ever you want. Just be prepared to explain it to a bratty teen who will throw it up in your face trying to justify their bad behavior.... because it will happen.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Jan. 2, 2011