okay, so, instead of having a romantic new years with my husband and children (steps included since it was on our weekend) I had to deal with my husband and step-son fighting, litterally, fighting. My step-son accused my husband of not loving him since DH decided that since SS (step-son) claimed his feet were hurting DH would allow the girls to brush their teeth first while SS went downstairs where I had my foot massager waiting for him (when the kids are growing everything hurts them so we try to help them with the pain by massaging it instead of drugging the kids up). SS got mad at DH becuase he wanted to brush his teeth before everyone else. SS backtalked DH, yelled at him, tried to hit DH, and when that didn't work he tried to throw stuff at his half-brother. DH believes in spanking so, he spanked him. SS said that he would tell BM that DH spanked him so that BM would take DH to court and make him go to jail.
With all the screaming going on, my 5 year old, 4 year old, and 7 month old were crying, scared, questioning what was going on (the older ones were questioning, the baby just cried). DH finally had enough, and told me to take the babies and get a room for the night. I felt like he was telling me to take my kids and leave since his son was giving so much trouble. I tried to talk to DH and SS so that I wouldn't have to leave (it was almost midnight). Nothing I said would help SS calm down, and I hadn't seen him like this since BM had him put on ADHD medication (which we were told by another doctor meant that SS did not need the meds but BM woudn't listen to neither us nor the other doctor).
While gone DH called BM to get SS and SD (step-daughter) but told me that instead of getting the money back, or atleast trying to get it back since we had only just gotten there, and coming home with the kids. I spent the night with all three of our children trying to explain to the older two why daddy didn't want us to come home, and the baby who had never slept anywhere but at home. DH got a good night's sleep, I didn't get any type of sleep.
When I got home the house was a wreak, BM called after I pulled in (she moved across the street from us about a year after we moved in to our apartment, claimed it was to be close in case the kids acted up) so she knew I was at home. SS apologized, and I told her about what had happened and that we wouldn't have had to call her if it wasn't for the fact that SS had scared the babies to the point where DH felt that it would be best.
It's been 2 days, DH refuses to look at me, much less say more than 2 words to me. SS has been better since BM took care of his misbehavior (don't know what she did and don't want to know since SS was the reason our new year was ruined) but the strain between me and DH is wearing on me. I can't even look at SS or DH the same way as before because of what happened. I honestly feel like DH chose his older children over me and our kids. He could have told us to come back home after making sure SS and SD were with BM, but he chose to have us stay at the motel. I'm kinda scared that they might have had a fling since one of the conditions she used to let DH see his kids was that he would concider helping her have another baby.
How does someone get rid of this feeling of betrayal? I'm so scared that my marriage is on a downhill trek and there's nothing I can do becasue when push comes to shove DH will choose the good of his previous family over the good of everyone. It hurts to think this way, and I don't want to think this way, but my heart and mind are on different sides of the fence in this matter. Has anyone else felt this way? How do you get over that kind of pain?
Answer by amybaby_19 at 11:13 PM on Jan. 2, 2011
Answer by Noosa at 11:04 PM on Jan. 2, 2011
Answer by melody77 at 11:17 PM on Jan. 2, 2011
Answer by christina259 at 11:20 PM on Jan. 2, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Jan. 2, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Jan. 2, 2011
Answer by grismelda at 11:33 PM on Jan. 2, 2011