Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Has anybody read the 123Magic books and does it work

I need something for my unruly 4 year old and picked it up today.


Asked by sandbuster at 11:28 PM on Jan. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,113 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • He sounds A LOT like my daughter!! I've found that taking more time with her (especially when her sister is napping) to play with some Play-Doh or a board game or watch a movie is making a difference. She's also got a 'responsibility chart' (from Melissa & Doug) and it has been helping her realize that she is rewarded for good behaviors. With kids like ours, you really have to start looking out of the box. My daughters runs through disciplines like crazy. We constantly have to switch it up on her. Good luck!!


    Answer by banana-bear at 3:06 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I have read the book and watched the video also. I started using it on my son when he was about 4. I followed the insruction exactly
    We had about one rough week and then he go it. It is a very simple policy. state command, give warning, walk to room, no words and then come back when the time is up and tell them what they did. Kids are able to get it also as they are not specail needs kids, autism or etc.. The most important thing is not arguing and being super consistent. Good luck

    Answer by briansmom123 at 11:44 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • Yes, I have read it, and no --it does not work.

    Well, that's not exactly true: it does work, it just doesn't do what it's supposed to do.

    If you are seeking to have a devious child, it's an awesome technique. If you want a child who looks to anyone but you when he has a problem or is afraid, because you are the source of his fear. This kind of coercion destroys the trust a child has in his parents, quite intentionally, because it is in keeping a child afraid that they are most easily controlled... for a while.

    The whole point of the method is the scary, unspoken terror of what *might* happen if mom gets to 3. Without the fear used to terrorize a child into compliance, it has nothing else.

    It is supposed to teach a child self-discipline, but it does it by completely failing to trust that any child could ever develop any kind of discipline at all without force. And the force naturally creates resistance to discipline.

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:56 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

  • I've read it. I picked it up in hopes of finding a way to help me deal with my strong-willed 4 year old. I think it would work in the literal terms of doing what it says it will do. I.e. getting your kid to shut up all day, every day - do exactly as I say "or else". My issue with it was the lack of communication between parent and child. My daughter is speech delayed so I really didn't feel comfortable continuing on with the process of this book and suppressing her communication anymore. I really just depends on how you want to parent.


    Answer by banana-bear at 12:41 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Have you read up on four year olds? Are you sure you want to be saying 1,2, 3? The idea is to get your child to understand the meaning of what you are requesting of them. Sit down with the child b4 they are doing something wrong. As them, when you don't do what mommy says what do you want mommy to do? I know they are young, but it will be a great way to see if they even understand the concept of what you are asking? If he is having a hard time expressing himself, this may be his way of crying out for help because he knows you will give him attention when you are upset with him. Maybe change the situation... ask him why he's upset or why he chose not to listen to you? If he doesn't know, there may be more than meets the eye. I wish we were as perfect as we try to make our kids be! I'm talking to myself, of course. I want them to get it right the first time. I don't even do that! Set up a chart with stars 4 rewards. may help...

    Answer by WalknWithGod at 12:41 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Thanks everyone, I have sat and talked with him on this. I asked him why are you doing this. His replied was that he wanted attention. I asked was'nt it better to get good attention than being in trouble all the time, he just stared at me. Here is an example from this morning already. I am sitting here in the dark with the kitchen lighting my screen. He comes off the breakfast table turns the livingroom light on and says I'll make it light in here. I tell him I doon't want it on. He in turn starts turning on/off till I yell his name.

    Comment by sandbuster (original poster) at 7:39 AM on Jan. 3, 2011