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Mostly just venting... how would you react?

I just need to get the emotions out so I can react right, so I apologize in advance for any psycho. First- a little background. My DF has several tasteful tattoos, which I actually like. He used to have his tongue and ear pierced, but has stopped wearing them since our DD was born. Last night, DF mentioned that a friend had offered to pierce his eyebrow, what did I think about it? (Friend works at a body art parlor & is licensed, so sterility wasn't an issue). I told him I'd rather he didn't, but to talk to me later when I was more awake. Then tonight, he comes home WITH HIS EYEBROW PIERCED. I don't have a problem with piercings, & I think it might actually grow on me, but it's pissing me off that he didn't at least give me a heads up. I don't want to be his mother, & I wouldn't have stopped him from doing it, but I feel like he should've talked to me before he got it done, especially since I'd expressed reservations. Should I just leave it alone, since in the end I think it's kind of cute & I know it's not a big deal? I'm just frustrated, & I don't want to over-react. Thank you for letting me vent, & any advice.

 
KA91

Asked by KA91 at 12:13 AM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 25 (22,129 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • I would just let it go... i would just say I wish you would have told me but just see if it grows on you. If in a few months you still dont like it let him know. :)
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 3:12 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • hmm i think i would be kinda shocked by it, espeicaly since u asked to talk about it. I mean hes a big boy and can make choices about his body and what goes in or on it, but i dont think there is anything wrong with expressing your feelings. Tell him how u feel , just what u told us , u dont mind it but u just wish that he could of dicuessed it a lil more before just going out and do it.
    Cherriemama831

    Answer by Cherriemama831 at 12:18 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I can understand why you feel the way you do. But....I think I'd probably let it go. Why ask and then go do it, I wonder?
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:18 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • My husband mentioned getting his septum done one night and I waslike "Ohh no please dont" Lol... The next night he came home with it done!! I was kinda pissed off too because he just blew off my opinion but I didnt make a big deal out of it.. He wound up taking it out after a few weeks anyway thank goodness because I really didnt like it, lol.. Thats not why he took it out though, he said it wasnt healing right.
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 12:28 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Personally, I'm not one for body piercings except for ears. My daughter came home with her tongue pierced once and it pissed me off because she didn't ask me about it first. All I can say is, what's done is done. When and if he's ready, it should heal back to where it was I would imagine. Just tell him that next time to talk to you about it before he gets something done so you won't be so shocked when it happens. That way, you can prepare yourself for it.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:42 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I think you have the right be irritated just at the fact that he didn't communicate with you well on a certain issues. But id say this kinda fight is one to just forgive and forget. Save your anger for later I'm sure he will do something else later down the road much worse than this! lol well i hope not, but we all make stupid mistakes...so just save it for then
    mrsrowland86

    Answer by mrsrowland86 at 1:21 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I don't think it is cute on a guy in the first place, I would have to say let it go and he'll probably get sick of it.

    sexyfancyface

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 1:55 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I would just let him know that you don't mind him having the piercing, it's just the fact that he didn't listen to you when you asked him to talk to you about it the next day. I would explain to him that it made you feel like your opinion didn't count, if that is what is irritating you (I know that would irritate me). I would worry that if he didn't value your opinion or talk to you about this particular incident, then he may not talk to you about making other bigger decisions. But if you really think its cute, let him know that too! Btw I think eyebrow piercings on some guys are super cute :)
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 2:07 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Is it life-threatening, morally-threatening or irreversible?

    I find, in general, that gently heckling is more effective than freaking out.

    'Oh, that is so sweet... you are so cute!'
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:21 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • In light of what it could have been..I'd let it go. From the way I read this it sounded to me as if he DID ask you first. It isn't fatal, it isn't life altering..pick your battles.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:19 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

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