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Is a closed adoption better?

 
WalknWithGod

Asked by WalknWithGod at 12:25 AM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Adoption

Level 18 (5,044 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • We are in a semi open adoption arrangement. We sent pics to the agency for the 1st six months, had a 6 mo visit, about to do a 1 yr visit, then pics every year after that. When we first chose adoption, we were very pro toward closed... but as we have grown and learned more about our options we are more open in a sense. The unknown is always scary. When we met the birthmother, I felt like I had known her for a long time. We prayed for her and other Mom's out there and the babies to be before we ever knew what God had in store for us.
    TiggerNemo

    Answer by TiggerNemo at 1:10 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • In Domestic Infant Adoption open adoptions are generally considered better for everyone. The problem is that they are not legally enforceable and are often closed by the adoptive or birth parents and in some cases by the adoption agency.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 12:52 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • It depends,each case is different.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 3:18 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • It really depends on how involved you'd like the bio parents to be. Talk to your adoption counselor about what's best for you and your situation.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 7:37 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I do have a coworker's daughter who chose to do a closed adoption. Her and her husband decided on a closed adoption because they did not want a birth mother to be able to disagree with their parenting methods and I'm sure they had other fears as well. Mainly I saw it as fear. They waited so long to have a child they were raising that they wanted to cut all ties.....meaining it was their daugther, the mother gave up her rights, and so they are the parents now. I will say I believe they are good parents and they are proud parents of a very happy three year old. Last I heard they had not told their child she was adopted. I encourgaged them to start talking about it since the entire town is aware of it. The child's birth mother agreed to a closed adoption and later I heard she wanted some contact and requested information from the lawyer. The parents continued to remain closed with no updates.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:52 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • The closed part works well for the parents at this moment but I'm not so certain it won't back fire. I think they will raise her with the idea that her first mother loved her so much she chose great parents and that there is no need to look for her biological family. My guess is she will grow up thinking that is true. But maybe not.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:55 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • no
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • i believe it should be an open adoption is better, even if the bio parents dont want to see the child. it is extremely hard for the birthmother to let another family raise her child, but it will give her the option to at lease get picts every now and again. i opted for an open adoption because i want to see my child grow up and it has been easier on me to even at least get pictured knowing shes in a good home
    mamaslove4ever

    Answer by mamaslove4ever at 10:55 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Better than what?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Yeah! Better then what? open adoption?
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 1:02 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

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