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Sibling issue

My 12 yo dd has been asking lately periodically esp. this Christmas break why she can't have a sibling. She's an only child and we'd have to adopt because we are past having one naturally. She is bored w/out having a sibling and Christmas break was pretty boring w/no one to play with except a couple neighbor kids a few days. She's brought it up before but a lot over break. Has anyone else had this issue? How did/would you handle it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:17 AM on Jan. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Why don't you adopt another child? I believe having a sibling is a good thing. Maybe you can't be a bio mum, but I am sure you are a good mum. So if you feel you are ready for another child than adopt one:) There are so many children out there waiting for a mum and dad to love them. And a loving sibling is a plus:) Or if you don't want to have other children than adopt a dog for your daughter. Dogs are good friends and fun to play with.

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 8:24 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I certainly wouldn't have another child because a child asked for a sibling. And if she got jealous, would you send it back? Think about it. A baby, later a toddler, is not going to be a playmate for her. Adopting a child her own age could bring multiple problems. What she's asking for is not what she needs. She's looking for companship, but after being an only child for 12 years, I wonder how she would react to having another child in the house that needed attention, and financially would take from her as well. Ask her how she would like sharing her room and only get half as many clothes and presents at Christmas. You , as a parent, could help her get involved in after school activities, or a church group for kids, where she would meet kids her own age, that she could become friends with. Have her invite a friend over for a sleep over.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 8:31 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • foster kids her age. that way if shes not liking it, they won't be there long. hopefully! and i mean, getting adopted....lol
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 8:41 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I agree with SweetLuci on this issue.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:42 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I agree that you should not have/get another child for your daughter. If you want another one, then go for it. You could arrange playdates and help her make friends. I wanted a little brother when I was 9. All 4 of my parents were fixed. They told me I would grow up to babysit and have my own children one day.
    I know your child id bored, but having a baby is not going to give her a playing friend for a long time. Babies don't make very good play friends.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 8:55 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Well I dont think she is wanting to adopt another child JUST bc her daughter wants a sibling..obviously she is considering having one for her self too not just for her daughter, who does that anyways??? I think at the age of 12 she would already know how she feels about having another sibling, Im sure she has gave it a lot of thought. Babies do make very good friends for siblings. When my daughter was 5 my husband and I had a baby and she did very well. She was a lot of help even at the age of 5. Of course she got jealous sometimes but every child or person is going to get jealous about something some point in time. And now my daughter is 7 and that baby is almost 2 and they have BLAST together, I would have to say she plays better with him than any of her other younger siblings. I definatly ddont think its a good idea to say " think about less presents at christmas " bc first off Christmas isnt about presents.
    mrsrowland86

    Answer by mrsrowland86 at 9:27 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Christmas is about family and being together. That would be kinda like teaching them to be selfish and inconsiderate of others...not a good idea. Another sibling is a great idea if you and your family are ready for it.
    mrsrowland86

    Answer by mrsrowland86 at 9:28 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • i dont think getting a child for daughter is the answer , i honestly think you need to get her out of the house more where she can meet people and develop friendships......try the boys/girls club in your area, look at what is offered at the rec center, or other organizations in your area for kids her age.....

    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:29 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • We have an only daughter and when she gets bored we invite friends over or she goes on a play date. We also enroll her in classes at the community center, Girl Scouts, and other activities so she has a lot of opportunity to socialize. My husband and I do not want more children. Even if we did, we are not financially secure enough to responsibly have another. We are also in our forties and are not comfortable with the idea of being older parents. Your daughter should not have any say in whether you have another child. You are the parent.
    MammaG

    Answer by MammaG at 9:57 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I would get her involved in activities, groups, playdates,etc. My son is almost 5 years old and we have him in preschool 5 days/week for 3 hours/day. 2x/week he stays for what they call "BusyMommy drop off" and plays for 2.5 hours with 6 other kids. We also have him in soccer, karate, and he has expressed an interest in Baseball. On top of that he plays with children in Sunday school. You have to get her involved in things. Only children have to socialize as well.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 10:06 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

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