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4 Bumps

Would you be mad?

For the third time my dh has gone behind my back and bought a vehicle. We just had our fourth child and we needed something bigger to drive. I had a mini van in mind. We have a truck we can all fit into and he has a car for work. I told him since this would be mine primarily I wanted to pick it out. I noticed money missing the other day and asked him about it. He said he had taken money to "pay a bill". Well I couldn't see what bill had been paid and went snooping. And see where he has put money down on an Explorer. I am so mad I could spit nails right now. Why do men do this?

Answer Question
 
treynlisa

Asked by treynlisa at 9:34 AM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,618 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • I would be LIVID! My DH would never do anything like this, big purchases are always a mutual decision.

    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 9:36 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • It's a lack of respect in the relationship.

    Along with PP, my SO wouldn't do this either.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:37 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Wow I would be MAD.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 9:38 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I would be so mad on so many different levels! You have every right to be angry and I would make him take it back!
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 9:38 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • That was very wrong of him to do - why on earth would he go behind your back and do that?? My DH wouldn't do that, we make decision like that together.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:38 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • The largest thing my husband purchased without my knowledge was a flat screen. I was so angry that I made him march right back to Sears and return it. We already had one the exact same size and there was no need for the new one. I really don't know what the hell they are thinking half the time.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:39 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I'd be fuming! All major purchases should be discussed first! He may feel like he's taking care of his family, but you are his partner & he should talk things over with your first! Tell him there will be no next time w/out a conversation w/ you first. (Besides, I'm w/ you, I'd much rather have a van than a SUV)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:39 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I would take the car back and exchange for something I want. If he has his own car than buff off!!! My SO knows me better than do this with me. I would remain silent for the rest of my life.
    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 9:39 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I would go to him immediately and tell him what I found. I would then ask him to explain to me why he did that without so much as even mentioning it to me. I would then tell him that I wanted him to get out of the deal, even if it means it costs him some money to back out. You might be able to find another vehicle from the same dealer and not lose any of your money. You will have to know exactly what you want done about the situation before you approach him. You will need to be firm. There is still the possibility that he will not change his mind. In that case, you need to decide what the consequences are going to be for his making this deal behind your back. And then you must be prepared to follow through. Only you know what your options are on that, but be sure the consequences involve something that is very important to him and make sure he feels the pain of his decision. Then give him the choice as in either/or.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:46 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Because they are men...He probably thought he was doing something wonderful for you...Maybe as a surprise...You know they think they know wants best for us...I wouldnt be so angry, if it was just a downpymt maybe its not a done deal just go talk to him maybe you can go back to the dealer and pick out what you want....
    sam223

    Answer by sam223 at 9:48 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

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