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HELP QUICKLY! husband and his female friend,

Husband's female best friend....what's acceptable?
My husband has a female best friend, that have been friends before we ever met. He claims they slept together once, then decided that they were better off as friends. She is a complete drunk, and seems to always need my hubbie's attention. We've all hung out before and they act like "best friends". But most the time they hang out, they get totally hammered together and sometimes he'll stay out all hours of the night with her, and not to long ago I awoke to her sleeping on the couch. I'm 6 months prego with his child, and have a two year old at home, so I can't always go hang out with them. He doesn't see a problem in this, well I do! So who's right?

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Asked by YungMum_STL at 11:00 AM on Nov. 11, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (20)
  • That would not be ok with me, the being friends part might be but the staying out with her all night now way in hell!!!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:05 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I had a male best friend who is like my brother, except for the fact that on a drunken night we did sleep together years ago. We definitely are better off as friends. The thing is that I had a bunch of friends I used to get drunk with and when I got married, my hubby-who used to hang and in the same places and party all the time-and I knew that in order for our relationship to work well we needed to put that relationship first and leave the partying days behind us. Don't get me wrong, we have a great time, and we'll get a buzz on together, but your hubby just is being immature. That chick oughta be helping you out instead of just using your man as a drinking buddy and inserting yourself in your life in a way that is uncomfortable. Remind them both that he has a family to think about and that the marriage is the #1 priority.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:05 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • He is married now there are a lot of things you give up, and thats top of the list.

    Answer by robinalbright at 11:05 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • ***inserting herself

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:05 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Id tell him to cut his ties. Its not a good relationship and he especially needs to grow up and act like a man and a soon to be father. Its totally inappropriate and should not go on. Who knows how far they have gone when they got drunk?? If they have any kind of feelings for eachother then Id def not be cool with him drinking with her. He needs to respect you and start acting like an adult! GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 11:06 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • No freakin WAY! I'd tell him like it is. There is no reason he needs to be going out drinking and getting wasted and being irresponsible. He is a husband and a step-father and a soon to be dad. He needs to straighten out his priorities! I could understand the female bestfriend thing, but the fact that they slept together i couldn't do it. It wouldn't be too bad if you were along or if they only went out every so often. GL

    Answer by abootie at 11:07 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • YOU are the woman in his life, not her. So, you should be the one to say how long he gets to hang out with her and whether or not she gets to sleep in your house. You should tell him that all this is not making you comfortable. He's your husband, and he should respect and care about how you feel. Maybe if you don't tell him, he just doesn't know. Men are clueless sometimes. I mean, if he was cheating, wouldn't he hide the fact that they are seeing eachother? Let him know that this might be hurting your relationship. And if in the end, he totally disregards what you say, maybe it's time you realize he's not worth it either.

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 11:07 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Father*** not soon to be. Sorry didnt realize you have another :)

    Answer by Steph319 at 11:08 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I wouldn't care who he was hanging out with. While I was pregnant I became very upset when my husband went out and drank/partied without me. It was mostly jealousy on my part because I couldn't go play too. I didn't (and still don't) think it was fair for his life not to change while I was carrying his child. I felt he should use the time to start learning what life would be like as a parent, where we aren't first priority any more & the child(ren) is. It is one thing to have a female best friend. It is another to be out partying all hours of the night and leaving you stranded at home.

    Answer by cat1622 at 11:10 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Okay, whoa. That's NOT okay. I would let him know that kids are not just your responsibility!!! He needs to stop partying with her and step up

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 11:21 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

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