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2 Bumps

The other woman realised me and him are still together, and told him to do one, I want to leave him, but I don't know how to deal with the fact he might go to her and she'll take him back?

I'm over being single, and not seeing him all the time and only talking to him when it's about our daughter, but I really get that horrible feeling when I think that he'll go and be with her. Or anyone else. He obviously doesn't love me the same way I love him because he's been seeing someone else and that's bad enough but the thought of him being with her if I leave is stopping me from going. How do I get over it? Can someone put it into perspective or evaluate for me please. I know it seems like a minor thing to stress about considering what's been going on but that is what's on my mind.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Sweetie, when you leave he is not your concern anymore. I know it's difficult. I know it's heartbreaking. It will all be alright, if you walk away. So what if he goes off with someone else? You will be able to grow and become the woman you are supposed to be!

    You mention he is the father of your child. He will be in your life forever, regardless of whether you stay or not, but to stay with him only so he's not with the woman he is cheating on your with is not only unfair to you and him, but also your child. Do you want to teach your child it is ok to cheat and be cheated on?

    Another view, he's obviously going to be with her no matter what you do. It's just a matter of whether you are going to stay with him while he plays around on you.

    You get over it because you have to. I never thought I would. Suddenly, it doesn't hurt so bad. Then it doesn't hurt except a little. I'm still in the hurting a little part. GOOD LUCK!
    mrskrisher

    Answer by mrskrisher at 12:01 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • If he's not willing to work on things with you why would you want to stay with him?? I know you said you love him but hun love isn't enough. You deserve more than what he's giving you.
    Proud_Mommy05

    Answer by Proud_Mommy05 at 11:56 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • When I found out my ex was cheating it totally pissed me off that he might move in with her. I dont know why? Then I had someone ask me why it bothered me so much? Did I really want to be with someone who did not love me the way I deserved? He treated me like crap when he cheated on me, disrespected me, brought in the possibility to STD's and lied to me. My mom then reminded me of something. She said when I was little I was always told to donate my used toys to those less fortunate, and to look at it that way. I was getting rid of something I didnt need anymore and she couldnt think of a more deserving person to end up with my ex then the other woman LOL. She was right.
    Its been years, and they just split up and guess what?> They cheated on each other. I cant think of anyone deserving of that karma more then them. Walk away and know something better waits for you.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:57 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I am sorry. :(
    Write out a list. On one side of the paper list pros and on the other, cons, and see if this helps. You may even want to write down why you get that feeling. It is possibly mixed together with fear or concern about being on your own. So it may be not so much love as fear (of being on your own.) Love has a give and take. It sounds as though you have more infatuation than a mature love. Sometimes we want that which we can't have- a desperate kind of feeling. Or what someone else has- the grass is greener thing. Turn your sights to moving on without him, find your own interests and goals. Best of luck to you.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:59 AM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Why stay with someone who isnt willing to work things out? Let her have him. If he cheated on you he'll cheat on her. Let her have the lying cheating scum bag and move on with you life and find a real man.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:06 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Im sorry to say, but if he wants to be with her, he will be. It doesn't matter whether you stay or not. It sounds like you just want him because she does.. And you have some insecurities and issues with him. You already said he DOESNT love you like you love him, and if that is the truth, let him go and move on. Staying with hin will only make you both miserable.GL
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 12:50 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Just think of it this way... Would you be happier staying with him knowing that he doesn't love you the way he should and have to deal with all the problems that will arise from his blatant lack of respect for you? OR... Would you be happier letting him be with her and saving yourself a ton of problems, such as never trusting him again? If it were me, I would choose the latter and feel very proud of myself for getting rid of someone that isn't good for me.

    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 12:04 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT!!!!!

    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 12:59 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Do BOTH of you guys want to work it out? If he is not willing to work it out with you are is he is not in love with you then it is time to let it go. Basically you are saying if I can't have him then no one can. But you and your child comes first so if its not going to work(and you know its not) then its time to get out of an unhealthy relationship. Sorry you are going through this but you both need to sit down and talk about what you guys want and what you want to do. GL
    nicjon

    Answer by nicjon at 12:00 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Eventually she will be the one fighting for him to stay with her instead of someone else. Guys like this don't change and just bring heartache to everyone in their path. Walk away and let him be someone else's problem.
    SabrinaBean

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 12:00 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

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