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2 Bumps

In a 'relationship' with my best friend, what do I do now it's all gone to pot?

My best friend is a girl, let's start off with that. I'm not a lesbian, well obviously I am, but I'd been so lonely and we got into a sort of 'relationship'. One that was mainly physical.

I'm posting anonymous because I'm so scared of getting bashed but basically we entered it and I knew it was stupid but I loved her to bits (in a friend way I thought). Recently we've been on the rocks to be honest. Every little thing seems to get our backs up and I'm starting to think I love her so much more that I thought I did. I genuinely can't live without her (we live together too). She's gone away for a few weeks and I'm insanely jealous. However I don't think she feels the same way at all. What can I do?

I feel so stupid, she doesn't like me in the same way and has made that clear. I can't detach completely, my children love her to bits and I do too, she's a very decent person but recently she seems to hate me for some reason - I can't work out why or what. I ask but she just says she doesn't love me and repeats the same thing over and over.

I'm just so confused and bewildered. I never thought I could be in a situation like this.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Gosh. I am sorry. How painful this must be. I don't have experience with Lesbian relationships, but I would imagine it is the same as with heterosexual relationships. That the anger you sense from her is her way, perhaps unconscious, of distancing from you. It may be time for you to move on. If you take the pressure off, back off, then she may relax and enjoy just friendship. Don't make any sexual moves at all, don't touch her or make suggestive comments. Back completely off and seek another friend for more than this one is willing to give. Good luck to you.

    Answer by Bmat at 12:03 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Sometimes we can confuse our types of love- (ie love for a friend vs. romantic love) Maybe this whole next level confused her as well & that's why she left so she can distance herself & think. Bmat is right, you have to allow her the time she needs & use that time to redirect your energy & attention elsewhere. If you ever hope to at least keep her as a friend, you will need to come to terms with that, & that is all she is willing to give & be happy w/ that. If you cant do that, you may have to move on w/out her friendship. I hope not tho. Hang in there & best of luck.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 12:17 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • hugsHope it works out for you! Maybe, just maybe she's not the one for you. Good Luck.


    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 12:58 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

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