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How am I able to ignore relatives that are impossible to recgoncile with?

any advice will be helpful Thanks!

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Asked by diamondsarecool at 2:17 PM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,942 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Depends on what the issue is that is not reconcilable. I've had issues with my father for about 2 decades, which I deem unreconcilable. What I do is simply pretend. We've had a lot of conversations about it--some good some not so good. I believe I can forgive him as much as I am capable of, but feel I never 100% can. I deal with it by simply going through the motions. He'll call up and talk, and I'll simply answer the phone and let him say what he needs to say. I try not to be too cold to him or anything, but I just try my best to not stir the pot. It stinks royally, but it's the best I can do to make sure I don't sever ties with the rest of the family too.

    Answer by jessicajacobson at 2:27 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • When my grandmother from my father side who was the only one who I trully loved in that familly passed I just pretended I BURY all of them the same day and that have worked for me

    Answer by gou18 at 2:28 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I would be honest with them and tell them that they are no longer welcome in your life anymore. If they want to fight about it. Just tell them again that they are no longer wanted in your life, and if they continue to harass you, you will take action.. If they feel the need to show up at your events, ask them to leave, and if they don't, call the cops. And if they are really harassing you, get a TRO. Not welcome means not welcome. And stick to it. Avoid them at all costs, and just move on with your life. Carrying resentment only takes a toll you, and it's not worth it over someone not worth being in your life.
    You may not want to go the legal route, but with my father being a lawyer, I know what people can and can't do by law, and if they don't respect my wishes, and break the law doing it, I have no issues with taking them to court or getting them arrested.
    Good luck.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 2:39 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I wish I had that answer.

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 2:39 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I guess it depends on what family members and if they have anything to do with people you still wish to stay in contact with. I have a side of my family that wasn't bringing anything but negativity to me. I cut them off. I just refuse to communicate with them. If I move I don't send them our new address and phone number. To be completely honest, it was a volatile relationship from the beginning so it wasn't all that hard once I got past feeling resentful of their attitude towards me. I had finally had enough and decided that instead of feeling hurt or negative that I would just let that whole side go and try to be a peace with it. I am at peace with it. These were extended family and while there are quite a few of them, I didn't feel that they brought enough good to the table and they made my job pretty easy. If it were in my immediate family it would have been a much more difficult thing to do. What's your story?


    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:41 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Easy just ignore them and write them off until they are willing to change. We didn't speak to my MIL for a year in a half until she realized that I was here to stay and she isn't the keeper of our lives.


    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 2:41 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I would just put them out of my life and be done with them, I have a few so called family that likes to lie about everything, complain about everything, thinks that their rears are lined in gold and now that I have washed my hands with them all, the hubs and I are closer and we are at peace, no more drama!

    Answer by momto4girzls at 10:34 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

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