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help i feel like a bad mom!!

i have a 15 month old son who i dont get to spend much time with since i work and go to school. i was a stay at home mom for the first week but i worked after that. i have little patience when he doesnt listen and i feel bad for it. i tell my self that its because i am not use to him and dont havent been their to teach him right. i love him and dont have thoughts of hurting him at all. i just get rally frustrated and want to just cry till i melt. i feel like a bad mom because how is it that a mom can get so frustrated with their one and only baby. please help because my husband sure doesnt.

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JOHNNYSMOMMY23

Asked by JOHNNYSMOMMY23 at 2:35 PM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 7 (179 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • If you didn't get frustrated with him you wouldn't be HUMAN. Toddlers are inherently frustrating creatures even if you WERE staying home.

    The ONLY bad mom is the one who BEATS her baby. PERIOD,
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:38 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • *hugs* My son is 3 and I still cry when I have bad Mommy moments of frustration, I try to take them ALL as learning tools for myself for the next time, but give yourself a break too -this is a testing stage/age also -be consistent and have fun - Good luck!~
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:42 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Its hard but maybe you can cut your working hours ? if not then don't feel bad, but if you play with him for 20 min every day no matter what if the house is dirty the laundry the dishes all can wait but if you get that play time he will feel important maybe he is acting up because he feels that is the only way to get attention when you are around.
    gou18

    Answer by gou18 at 2:42 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I wanted to make sure you saw that first response quickly to understand you're completely normal. Frustration is a daily occurrence in the Mom Gig... you're raising an independent human being and other people do tend to be frustrating because NO ONE does precisely what you want when you want it at all times. (If you wanted that, you needed a robot.)

    At 15 months, he'd be doing all the things that frustrate you even if you were with him every second... because it's in their natures FIRST to test you and SECOND to get things wrong a thousand times before they ever get it right. And then they'll get it wrong a bunch more times, partly because it's human to make mistakes and partly because they're making sure you're paying attention!

    Want some good news? You're well bonded. Otherwise you'd have eaten him by now. **grin**

    Relax. You're all human and it's all good!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:43 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • First relax we all have frustrated moments--mothering is hardest job ever. Its difficult to spent all day with lil ones. Can your Dh give you break when you get to that point. Try relaxing during his nap to reenergize yourself.You have to teach them to listen they aren't born obeying sorry. Try to find something you can enjoy doing with him coloring,block,cars relax play with him try to enjoy him he only little for a short time.Maybe therapy would help or talking with someone who has kids and understands.(((HUGS))
    raisingmen

    Answer by raisingmen at 2:43 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Your son is starting his terrible twos already so getting frustrated is normal. Actually even if he wasn't in the terrible twos it would be frustrating. I feel the same way with my 21month old. I work and go to school so I usually only spend about 2hrs with him, but by the end of that 2hrs I'm ready to pull my hair out. I've felt bad too, but that's just how it is. They're eager to explore and also test your limits on what you allow, so its going to be rough. Don't feel bad tho, just think of it as one of the joys of motherhood lol... p.s. they don't call em terrible for nothin!!
    Nicolenew

    Answer by Nicolenew at 2:44 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • some times we get so caught up in our busy lives like cooking cleaning we lose the important s of what means the most to us . when you get home do something relaxing for you both like a walk or story time and a snack .kids grow fast dont miss out on all the special times .
    charlottesweb23

    Answer by charlottesweb23 at 2:45 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • You are doing all you can, and that's that. Take a breathe, and remember, EVERYONE goes through tough times. I read something once, that says if you show your children you understand, they'll listen better. So I tried it yesterday with my 3 yr old daughter. It worked AMAZINGLY well. I was shocked, because getting her to listen is like pulling teeth. She was mad, and yelling, so I got mad too. "I'm so MAD!" I said, and she stopped and stared. So then I got to talk to her about it, and she understood yelling and throwing a fit doesn't get her what she wants. Then she cried, so I pretended to cry. "You are SO sad! Because Mommy doesn't want to give you...." I said in a fake sob. She wrapped her arms around me and tried to comfort ME! It was amazing. So we got to talk about it again. It was great.
    mrskrisher

    Answer by mrskrisher at 2:45 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • You shouldn't feel that way since being a Mom takes a lot of tolerance and patience because little babies and children need to be taught and he's only fifteen months. You are just getting started with raising your baby and as he gets older it will get easier because he will be able to communicate with you better. When they are little it's a bit more difficult because they rely on you for just about everything but that will change and you will the difference especially as he reaches his second birthday.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 6:31 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I have a 2 year old son and I feel the same exact way. I work and go to school and my mom sees my son more than i do sometimes. We are doing things to better our lives which will better his, so keep that in mind. When you do get time with him, devote it only to him. We all get frustrated and that is normal. You are his one and only mommy and always will be and he will always know that. Try to hang in there...I go through the same struggle everyday. Just take a deep breathe, and look at that wonderful child YOU made. You will get through it!
    bradyensmama

    Answer by bradyensmama at 6:38 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

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