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If you thought you didn't love him anymore, would you tell him?

I have been married to him for 14 years.we have a son.I was walking on the beach by myself Christmas day.and my husband came to get me.And as we walked on the beach I realized that I didn't love him.This is not the first time I have had this thought.For the most part our marriage is good.Just not romantic.We coparent well.do you tell him?Does it come back?Is this normal after years?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I believe people fall in and out of love all the time during the coarse of a marriage and that loving feeling alone shouldn't be the only motivator to stay married, nor to get a divorce. I wouldn't tell him.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 3:49 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • i think (and this is coming from a newly-wed) that love is overrated for the most part. i spent quite a bit of my youth running around looking and finding "love". and love has always bitten me in the butt lol, i think as long as you respect him and treat him well, and he does the same for you the marriage can work with both of you. and there may be times that you LOVE LOVE LOVE him and times that you tolerate him. all marriages have their ups and downs, though i wouldn't consider this a down so much, just a nice little niche you have found!
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 3:51 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • TOTALLY Agree with Keisha! Great advice!
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 3:51 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Maybe you need to remeber why did you fell in love with him the first time I don't think is possible to be inlove and hearing bells for the rest of you life, relationships change I would not say a word unless I was sure that I can't love him and stay with him anymore.
    gou18

    Answer by gou18 at 3:55 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I FEEL THAT SOMETIMES THE LOVE FOR A PERSON CAN COME BACK AFTER YOU HAVE BEEN APART FOR SOME TIME BUT IF YOURE IN THE MARRIAGE AND YOU NOT HAPPY THEN TELL HIM . WHY GO AROUND ACTING AS IF THING ARE OK HE WILL NEVER KNOW ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY BECAUSE I WOULD BECOME DISTANT AND POSITION MYSELF AWAY FROM THE SITUATION AND FOM HIM. BUT STAYING IN THE RELATIONSHIP FOR THE CHILD ISNT WRONG BUT THATS NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU HAPPIER IF YOU EVER DECIDE TO LEAVE.EXAMPLE: I LEFT MY KID FATHER AFTER HE WOULDNT ACT RIGHT BUT I FELL OUT OF LOVE FOR HIM AFTER SOME TIME AND NOW STILL TODAY I STILL HAVE SOME LOVE FOR HIM BUT NOT ENOUGH TO STAY WITH HIM.
    noka22

    Answer by noka22 at 4:03 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • There are ebbs and flows in every marriage. When you don't feel loving, the best thing to do is to do and say loving things. Think loving thoughts. Our emotions follow the way we think. Allowing yourself to think negatively about your spouse will interfere with your loving attitude towards him. Dwelling on the positive things about him will make you feel more loving. Too many times, we think about what we are getting out of the marriage rather than what we are giving to it. When you begin to concentrate on giving, you will find yourself in love again. And, no, you shouldn't tell him. You should just start to tell him what a great guy he really is.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:07 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • To all who answered.........................thanks for the advice.He does have some good qualities.I guess I should focus on those.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:12 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Keisha and Nanny B said it! ..right on..GL op
    tnmomofive

    Answer by tnmomofive at 6:05 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

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