Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think I should tell him I might be pregnant?

For three months I was having a "friends with benefits" arrangement with a guy I was set up with by my best friend. I didn't know it until after I started talking to him that when my friend was with her ex-fiance she had an affair with this guy for nearly a year - she claims they did love each other but I find that hard to believe since she never told me about him, but had no problem telling me about the other two guys she supposedly fell for during her various affairs. Their affair ended because my friend chose to try and work things out with her fiance and she had no contact with the guy she set me up with for nearly 4 years until the week she set us up when they started talking again - he had just been dumped by his girlfriend and my friend was happily married and no longer had feelings for him so she set him up with me. Neither of us was looking for a relationship but he acted like a boyfriend - we were free to sleep with other people even though neither of us did, he called me at least 4 times a day (which included a wake up text and he'd call me every night before bed even if he was exhausted and I'd tell him to go to bed but he'd refuse because he insisted on talking to me for at least half an hour every night. So of course I started feeling something for him. Last month my friend's husband left her without any warning, he took their 2 year old son and the dog and just left. I've been through a divorce and understand what she's going through, and it was normal for her to lean on her friends - because of the amount of time he's been spending with my friend again apparently his old feelings have returned and even though my friend doesn't feel that way anymore and doesn't want him he decided yesterday he can't keep seeing me knowing that its hurting me to see the way he acts around my friend, he told me he can't give me the love and attention I need and deserve anymore. The problem is for the last week I've had various symptoms of pregnancy, I'm on birth control but I got pregnant with my first child when I was using birth control too. I'm waiting until next week to take a test though but I've been arguing with myself over whether or not I should tell him - after all why should I be the only one freaking out right now?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Don't tell him unless you know for sure. He'll see it as a ploy to get him to spend more time with you. This is why FWB is always a lose-lose situation
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 3:56 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I would tell him if you are pregnant, not that you might be.
    So I would wait till you take a test
    nowmommyof2

    Answer by nowmommyof2 at 3:56 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • wait till ur sure
    Collegemommy910

    Answer by Collegemommy910 at 3:57 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Definitely wait for the test. There's no use in stiring up drama until you need to.
    SabrinaBean

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 3:57 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I wouldn't tell him. If it turns out you are pregnant and you want the guy to have a part of the baby's life then tell him when your sure. Right now there's nothing really to tell. Plus he kind of sounds like a waste of time.
    myree85

    Answer by myree85 at 3:58 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Yes I know I should wait until I know for sure but I hate that I'm freaking out with worry by myself while he's living life like nothing is different, he called me this morning because he had promised to make a call for me and he can pull some strings that I can't so he called me to let me know he made the initial phone call and would keep me posted on the outcome but he sounded so damn chipper like he was as happy as could be and it hurt to know how little me no longer being in his life affects him. I have no desire to spend time with him, even if I am pregnant.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:03 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • You should wait until you know for sure, otherwise it looks like a desperate attempt to keep him especially since it's a rocky unofficial relationship.

    SueAnd2

    Answer by SueAnd2 at 4:18 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • yeah i would just wait until i take the test to make sure that i am pregnant but goodluck mama i hope everything works out for the best
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 1:10 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN