Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Did I do ok or what would you have done differently?

My 19 y/o son is supposed to start the next Sememster of College on Mon 1/10. He has yet to check his grades from last semester, get w/ his scholarship guidance person or sign up for classes. He's always been a procrastinator, but this is ridiculous. He's been on my last nerve lately & I told him if he's blowing off school, he needs to apply for 3-5 jobs & pay 1st months rent by Friday. We're not supporting a deadbeat. (We already told him he could live here rent-free as long as he's in school.) Was this appropriate? Or what would you have done differently? (*No bashing plz- it's been a rough year!)


Asked by mrsmom110 at 7:46 PM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 48 (284,686 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think what you did was fine. I am going in to my final semester in college this month. And I was checking my grades as soon as possible and had registered for classes back in October. If you are really serious about finishing your school on time then you need to be on top of things.

    I think everything you said was great, and the rent proposition will hopefully show him how serious you are and that he needs to get more involved in his education or stop wasting your money.

    I would have loved to have parents that were as involved and supporting as you are.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 8:49 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I think thats great! He can either get back to school or be shoved into real life. I was shoved into it at 18 and my parents have never paid a cent for my college. I worked, raised kids, and went to school. Maybe thats what he needs. I say you did everything great!

    Answer by ashisamom at 7:54 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Good for you ! He may just need that kick in the butt. To get him motivated to the right thing with his life.

    Answer by ladybug0614 at 7:53 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • you did fine. You are making him accountable for his choices. He is 19 and you are being good parents by supporting him as long as he is in college but he needs to do his part. Parents now seem to coddle their kids to the point that the kids take advantage of the parents and the reality is that it is an injustice to the children. We as parents are to raise healthy, happy, PRODUCTIVE people to go out in to society. Good for you, stick to your guns.


    Answer by sue118 at 8:14 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • i would def have him pay his own way if hes not in school and you already made that arrangement with him

    Answer by momofalltrades at 8:40 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • That's exactly what we have done with our adult sons.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:14 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • If he is not going back he has known it for almost a month and has been too chicken to say anything. Time for him to fish or cut bait.

    Ignore the person who said how would you feel if your landlord... because if you have a landlord you know you have to pay rent. Geez what a line of guilt laden bull! And the landlord doesn't give a hoot how you feel, he only wants the mortgage and taxes paid by the person who is getting the benefit of the property!

    You might also want to explain that "as long as you are in school" means full time working towards a real major and done in 4 years. Not forever and forever while dabbling in a number of areas of study that would provide no career procepts so he can find himself.


    Answer by LoveMyDog at 9:32 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Stick with the expectation and don't back down now!

    Answer by tasches at 6:40 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • He sounds like what my 19 year old son is doing right now. It is so exasperating! My son better get his act together or something's got to change. Best of luck with your son!

    Answer by zboys at 9:17 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • For crying out loud I am a procrastinator too! But tell the kid to get up off of his duff and enroll on line. Walk with him to the computer and type in the schools website.
    Some kids need a little more hand holding than others. Sorry but they do. My daughter found out that she could save me money by getting her text book on Amazon so she did that. Good luck and walk him through it.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:27 PM on Jan. 5, 2011