I'm aware of the adage; "What happens at Grandma, stays at Grandma'. But just how much well-meaning secrecy should a parent accept?
Here's the skinny: My 3 kids came home from an otherwise enjoyable 4 day stay with my in-laws - enjoyable for all parties, not least for us who were able to recover and recharge in this rare, temporary moment of childfree bliss. Upon their return my youngest daughter had a cut one the side of her face. My oldest son immediately told me about the accident, which had happened two days earlier. He was obviously distraught that he had been instructed by the grandparents not to call and tell us about it with the explanation that we (us parents) would worry if we knew before they were back home. Worry? No kidding! I couldn't call the pediatrician before after the weekend (they came home on a Friday evening), and the nurse confirmed our real worries: that it was now too late to prevent an unsightly face scar because the skin had started healing without the skin on each side of the cut fusing properly together. It's not a huge cut, and it's possible that we would have been adviced to treat it at home instead of with stitches. The problem is that we were not included in the decision not to treat it and that she now will get a permanent scar that might have been prevented with proper treatment. The grandparents had put antibacterial on, but not used a strong bandaid that could have kept the skin endings together.
I do understand that accidents happen and I am thankful that our grandkids have grandparents who want to be with them. The is problem is what seems to be an habitual lack of honesty on their part. This is not the first time they are making safety compromises or poor judgement behind our backs. In fact I am glad I'm only writing about a scar formation and nothing worse. I have talked to hy DH several times about addressing these issues with them, but he doesn't always "get through" to them.
What should I do? I don't want to be the "disagreeable DIL" and criticize them unnecessary, but these are my kids and I want to know that they are safe! Will it be perceived as overreacting if I write a polite email to MIL about this? I feel that I have had to "correct" MIL so often, but safety standards have indeed changed since she had kids. Or should I not let the kids over there unsupervised anymore? Aside from the recurring dishonesty (which is big issue to me!) the kids love going there and we don't have any other help as my family is far, far away)
Very thankful for your advise!
Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Kids' Health
Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:53 PM on Jan. 3, 2011
Answer by My2boys0523 at 7:53 PM on Jan. 3, 2011
Answer by Steph319 at 7:53 PM on Jan. 3, 2011
Answer by jennifer588 at 7:54 PM on Jan. 3, 2011
Answer by Bethsunshine at 7:55 PM on Jan. 3, 2011
Answer by MommyH2 at 7:55 PM on Jan. 3, 2011
Answer by sue118 at 7:55 PM on Jan. 3, 2011
Answer by sue118 at 7:56 PM on Jan. 3, 2011