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How soon should you bring a new mate around your child even though sometimes your mate might end up meeting the child because the child lives with you and always there and because they are goin to have to come around to spend time with you .

 
noka22

Asked by noka22 at 7:51 PM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (90 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • My dd was a baby when I started dating my fiance' and he came over after a month or two but she didn't know what was going on. She also lives with me I wanted him to come over to spend time with me. He mostly only came over when she was alseep though. For my ex, who spends only a couple days a month with my dd, I would say he should be engaged or close to it if he is gonna have someone around her, sharing in their limited time together.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:27 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Well, after 6 months of dating, my boyfriend and I decided to be exclusive and feel that we're building a future together so I introduced him to my son before Christmas.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • im confused..... how old is the child? and IMO if your jsut "dating" and not serious about this new person dont bring them around yuor children.. it can get confusing
    2boysmommy.js

    Answer by 2boysmommy.js at 8:00 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I'm married, but if i were to date someone new I would wait at least 6 months; is the boyfriend wanting to meet your child? Im the type of person that doesnt want my kids to see me with new guys all the time so i would wait till I knew that it was serious =)
    My2boys0523

    Answer by My2boys0523 at 8:05 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I never brought anyone I was dating around my child. In 14 years of being single she only knew ONE person to by my "boyfriend" and to spend time together. I didn't feel there was any other reason to introduce her to anyone. The one person she did know as my SO ended up being my husband. Having people in and out of you childs life can be confusing and it does not teach them how relationships work or the importance of them.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 8:07 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I guess I am confused on what the "mate" actually is..... seems like an odd way to refer to someone you are dating. I wouldn't let some one i just met around my child though or in my house with child.
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 8:09 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • When I was dating I waited until things would get pretty serious before my daughter met anyone. That means that she only met one boyfriend that didn't work out. We did have one exception to the rule, and that was when I started dating my best friend. He was always around before we were dating and she already knew him pretty well- he was the one that would help out with things, assist me with her birthday parties, and occasionally even babysit. But until we knew where things were going we never let on to her that things had changed between us. When she did find out she was thrilled, and it worked out pretty well. He and I have since married and are expecting her third little brother.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 8:43 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I didn't bring my now fiance around my kids until I was absolutely sure we where going to get married at some point in the future.
    allboyz03

    Answer by allboyz03 at 9:14 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • in my case my daughter live with me and if my bf wants to come see me sometime he will see her and most of the time he dnt i try to keep her from being around as much as possible til im ready for her to be around i see him more than he's ever seen her and when he do come over majority of the time she is asleep so she wnt see him. but the only way i can prevent them from seeing each other is when my daughter isnt home but she's with me majority of the time so sometimes she will end up seeing my bf .
    noka22

    Comment by noka22 (original poster) at 9:20 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • If you two are serious (like getting married), then I'd bring him around. Otherwise, you may confuse her.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 12:34 AM on Jan. 4, 2011