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why shouldn't I adopt a baby?

I am interested in adopting a baby (prob from china, since I want a girl anyway). I own my own home, it is a 3 bed townhome but I have it completely paid off. I have the money to adopt and still have a nice amount save. I am set in my career and I want a child. Some people in my life support this but others don't. Why? because I am 21 and I am single. I can provide a good home, with everything a child needs. I work from home, so child care is not an issue. Some are saying that it is not fair because the child won't have a father unless or until a get married. The child that I adopt currently doesn't have a father OR a mother. I have gone to an angency, they have done a home study and said that we can start looking whenever. Am I being selfish?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I thought they wouldn't let you adopt from China unless you were married - and for a certain amount of time. ...Am I wrong?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • China no longer allows adoptions to singles, married less than 5 years, anyone under 30. You don't qualify. I'm sorry.

    Answer by DEpley at 1:03 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Depley is correct.. you do NOT meet any requirements for China. You are young...very young in the IA world.. just about every country program dictates 25 or a certain number of years older than the child you are considering. You are single, which many country programs have now eliminated singles from their eligibility requirements....and well, China will not even consider you as you are under 30. They do not bend on their requirements at all. They used to have an age requirement of 35, but lowered it in 2003 to 30. I know as we had to wait to submit our dossier until we were both 30.

    By the way, China is now a 4.5 year wait for a NSN child and the wait is getting longer every month. The projections are stating that when all is said and done the wait could be 8 years.
    You need to do more research about country requirements...I am surprised an agency allowed you to begin a HS for IA without having some knowledge of IA.

    Answer by mcginnisc at 7:46 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Frogdawg- she was grandfathered in under the OLD regulations...any dossier that is BEFORE May 1, 2007 will be able to remain in the queue..however, for those AFTER 5/1/07 the wait is LONG and they do not allow singles as of 5/1/07. Your friend's dossier was logged in by May 06 if she just returned home...the newest batch is for 5/29/ 06. Our LID was 10/10/05 and we recieved our referral on 2/1/ the 4 years that we have been home with Lilly, they have only done 6 months of referrals.. it is crazy long now and the requirements changed almost 4 years ago.

    Answer by mcginnisc at 6:31 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • I don't believe that wanting to raise a child is selfish in most cases. But, I think you are probably too young to adopt through most traditional methods.

    Answer by Southernroots at 9:49 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • If you went to an agency that handles Chinese adoptions, they should have let you know the current requirements before they did a homestudy.

    Answer by DEpley at 1:05 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Each country that allows international adoptions has different requirements - and I'm not sure of any who will allow a 21 yr old to adopt - single or not.

    If your agency has completed a homestudy, they had to ask you multiple and in-depth questions OR you've gone to an agency that doesn't handle international adoptions?

    Either way, giving them ALL the information up front saves time and money because from my understanding, each international country also has different requirements for their homestudies... so you might need to talk to your worker.

    I think you need to do a lot of homework and all about the requirements, etc.

    Good luck with whatever route you take.

    Answer by AAAMama at 1:36 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • I have a single coworker, is over 30, waited about two years and brought her little girl home from china a few days ago. No special needs.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:30 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • well I haven't told them China yet. At this point, they agency has just done a home study and the back up work to make sure I CAN adopt, now is when we start looking into where.I haven't heard that a single mom can't adopt from China, but I could be true, I hope not.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:06 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Adopting a child is about giving them a better life and a forever family. This day in age families come in all shapes and sizes. Don't let anyone tell you you are selfish! You could create a miracle for a child and that is not selfish in any way, shape nor form. I do adoption counseling on a volunteer basis and come from an interesting place regarding adoption: I was given up for adoption and also gave a child to adoption. My husband and I have four children now and we know the joys on both sides of the fence.

    Answer by derosia_mama at 10:15 AM on Jan. 4, 2011