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2 Bumps

This is an embarassing question...How do I make my husband understand that "it's not him"? adult content

My husband and I are having intimacy issues. I am never in the mood and he doesn't get it when I tell him its not his fault. And than we end up arguing over it or one of us walks away upset.
What do I do? Or say?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Jan. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • im hardly ever in the mood! most of the time i just fake it! he gets wat he wants and then lets me sleep im ok with it!
    Caroline2010

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 11:55 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • Let him know that you need some stimulation to put you in the mood.

    sexyfancyface

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 11:57 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I'm hardly ever in the mood since I got my iud.Use a bit of lube & a lot of foreplay to try to get in the mood
    ajmfmommy

    Answer by ajmfmommy at 11:59 PM on Jan. 3, 2011

  • I am so tired I do not feel like swinging from the lamp post at night. I have no energy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • agree to try something different! do u know why you're not in the mood? find out the reason and try to fix the problem. i wasnt in the mood for a while after i healed from cesarean section because i didn't feel attractive, now me & my babys daddy are back together and he always tells me i'm beautiful & makes me feel beautiful and i'm in the mood all the time now.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 12:30 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Anon- thats too funny
    i was that way after each pregnancy but i would just make him cum faster and he would b happy as can be they dnt care if your in the mood or if your lying there reading a book as long as they catch it there happy so i would tell him your not in the mood but maybe u can please him orally?
    premiemom18

    Answer by premiemom18 at 1:20 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • OP sex isn't number one in a marriage (or shouldn't be) but it IS high up on the list for alot of folks.Considering that I would advice that you talk to your doctor about your libdo problems..don't blow it off it will only get worse! If you don't work to try and rectify the problem (and your husband knows your trying to fix it) then your husband will feel worse and might believe that you just do not care about his needs.BEEN THERE..so i'm urging you to do something..and most likely you will not convince him that it isn't him if you don't get help for this...GL
    tnmomofive

    Answer by tnmomofive at 8:59 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • The mood? The mood is the last thing he wants to hear when he wants to have sex with you. He's looking at one thing, the end result and he doesn't care if you're in the mood or not...sorry but its the truth...how many men do you know, (who enjoys sex) wants to hear his partner saying they are not in the mood, over and over again? Not too many. I would suggest getting to the root of the reason why you are not in the mood. Address that issue and go from there but putting it off just because you're not in the mood without finding out why and resolving it, is a definite recipe for disaster...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:29 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Honey, there are MANY times I'm not in the mood, I'm just too dang tired. But I do it anyway!! Even though you keep saying it's not about him, there are only so many times you can reject his sexual advances and he's going to start taking it personally!! Think how YOU would feel if every time you tried to get frisky with him, he shut you down. There is a saying that I heard one time and it applies in this situation "Fake it 'til you make it!" Sometimes you just have to DO IT and eventually, you WILL get in the mood. You need to also find out WHY you're not in the mood. Is it a physical problem? Emotional? Exhaustion? Whatever it is, you need to figure out what it is so you can work on fixing it. Hope things get better for you!!
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 3:57 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

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